Charlotte died, that it wasn’t really a shock to me. I think that perhaps I just needed to hear it from someone else, someone who mattered, to make me really take stock of it.”
He saw her entire body tense at his words and for a moment, he feared that he was too late. That what he said to her now wouldn’t stop her from leaving his life for good.
But he couldn’t let that happen. At least not without trying to keep her by his side where she belonged.
“We are worlds apart, Selina. I’m painfully aware of that. And I know that my past is quite literally haunting us both. But the truth is that I was using those things as excuses. Excuses to put distance between us. To keep myself from feeling for you the way I do.”
He looked down at their clasped hands, knowing that once the words were said they couldn’t be unsaid. Knowing that she may still consider the differences between them to be insurmountable.
Steeling himself, he looked up, capturing her dark gaze in his own.
“I haven’t let go of Charlotte—you were right about that,” he whispered. “But it was because I felt as though I’d failed her. I felt as though my inability to make her happy is what killed her.”
Selina’s grip tightened in his own.
“But I’m ready now. I’m ready to let go of the guilt and the grief. I’m ready to admit that I couldn’t save her, not from herself. I’m desperately sad that she couldn’t see a way to hold on to life. I’m desperately sad that Timothy will never know what a kind and gentle soul she was. But the time has come to let her go. For her sake. For Timmy’s. And for mine.”
A sudden icy wind whipped up around them, colder even than the blustery breeze from the sea, and Philip suddenly got the feeling they weren’t alone here on the beach.
He looked to Selina, and she nodded once.
Charlotte was here.
Philip took a deep breath and continued.
“I’ve been so afraid, Selina. Afraid to admit what I feel for you. Afraid to risk my heart and Timmy’s, when he’s lost so much. But I’m not afraid anymore. I’m not afraid to let my guilt and grief go. I’m not afraid to let Charlotte go. I’m not afraid to tell you that I love you fiercely and with every fibre of my being.”
He watched as tears spilled from her eyes and poured silently down her cheeks.
“I thought I’d have to go back. Back to a place filled with nothing but misery and sorrow. But I don’t. Timmy wants to be here. With you. And I do, too.”
“Philip –“ Her voice was hoarse with emotion, and he swore an oath to himself that he’d never make her cry again if he could help it. “You can’t – we can’t. I’m a nobody. I’m a gypsy orphan.”
Philip let go of her hand so he could reach up and clasp her face in his hands, staring into her eyes, willing her to believe him.
“You are kind and beautiful, courageous and unique,” he said fiercely. “And I adore you. You are everything I want, Selina. Everything I need. Let us be a family. Let us live our days here, in our own corner of the world. Let us not be weighed down by ghosts of the past or the opinions of people who don’t matter. As long as we love each other, nothing else matters. And I do love you. More than I ever thought I was capable of.”
After an age, Selina smiled, and Philip felt as though a weight was lifted from his shoulders.
“I love you, too,” she said. “And I love Timothy. I do want you both to stay with me. Forever.”
Philip could have wept as relief and joy burst inside him, battling for dominance.
He leaned down to kiss her but before their lips met, that icy chill swept through him once more.
Only this time, he didn’t feel scared, or hopeless, or anything negative. Instead, a sense of absolute peace settled around him, and he could have sworn he was wrapped in a swift, warm embrace before the most exquisite sense of relief and freedom surrounded him.
“Papa!”
He turned to watch as Timmy ran across the sand toward them both, his face split in a wide grin, Mrs. Healy trailing behind him, a matching joyful expression wreathing her face.
Turning back to face Selina, he saw that her own smile was blinding, even through the tears.
“She’s gone,” he said softly, in awe. “She’s moved on.” It wasn’t a question but Selina nodded nonetheless.
Epilogue
The wind whipped through Selina’s hair, and she smiled indulgently as Philip chased his son into the surf before swinging him high into the air, earning himself a laughing squeal.
“You’ll never get him to sleep with all this excitement, you know,” Agnes huffed beside her but when Selina looked over, she saw the twinkle of merriment in those eyes.
“Hmm. Well, Mrs. Leary will have his bath ready and the lavender always settles him. I only hope it works on this one, too.” She reached down and rubbed a hand over her swollen belly.
“What time does Timothy arrive?”
“Philip will take the carriage to meet him this afternoon. He’ll be here by the dinner hour tomorrow.”
“Ach, tis a shame the lad spends so much time away,” Agnes groused.
“I miss him, too,” Selina admitted. “But tis the way of the peerage. And Philip wants him to learn his duties. A summer with his grandmother in London will have been good for him. We can’t keep him here with us forever. Tis bad enough that Philip leaves the running of things to stewards most of the time.”
“Well, I’m just glad he’s coming home in time for the little one’s arrival. Have you told him yet?” Agnes nodded toward the beach where Philip was carrying five-year-old William on his shoulders as he walked toward them.
“After the fuss he made when William was born?” Selina scoffed. “Nay, it will start after he’s gone this afternoon, but it won’t be rushed. He’ll be back just in time for his child to make an entrance.”
“Right.”
Agnes climbed to her feet, still sprightly even ten years later.
“Master William, let’s you and I walk up to the house. I think if you ask very nicely, Cook will let you steal a pie before your bath.”
Philip lifted William from his shoulders and let the lad run toward Agnes’s outstretched hand.
He strode toward his wife and placed a tender kiss on her lips.
“How are you feeling, love?” he asked, his face stamped with concern.
“I’m well,” Selina assured him for the thousandth time.
“And how does our babe fare?” he asked, running a light hand over her belly.
“Healthy and content.” Selina smiled.
Inside, their babe kicked at the sound of Philip’s voice.
Almost as though she understood every word.
And perhaps she did.
This would be a daughter. Not the seventh, but special nonetheless. Just like her mother.
The End.
About the Author
Nadine Millard is a bestselling writer hailing from Dublin, Ireland.
When she's not writing historical romance, she's managing her chaotic household of three children, a husband and a very spoiled dog!
She's a big fan of coffee and wine with a good book and will often be found at her laptop at 2am when a book idea strikes.
Stay up to date with Nadine’s new releases at www.nadinemillard.com
Also By Nadine Millard
The Royals of Aldonia
The Hidden Prince
Protecting The Princess
Redeeming A Royal
The Saints & Sinners Series:
The Monster of Montvale
The Angel of Avondale Abbey
The Devil of Dashford Manor
The Saint of St. Giles
The Revenge Series:
Highway Revenge
The Spy’s Revenge
The Captain’s Revenge
The Ranford Series:
An Unlikely Duchess
Seeking Scandal
Mysterious Miss Channing
Beauty & The Duke
His Yuletide Bride