yet. I’m still working on it,” I said.
“OK,” he said, laughing. “Why haven’t you told anyone about this?”
“I don’t know. It relaxes me. When I’m in here, I don’t think. I just do it.” I walked over and picked up a picture I took at the river walk. The first time I saw Declan in three years. It was a picture of him standing on the other side of the river as he looked straight at me. I put it down as I heard Jared walking up behind me.
And he stood right behind me, but was careful not to touch me. He just reached around me and picked up the picture to look at it. I closed my eyes and wondered all over again why I never really considered Jared. I was a total mess, that’s why. Here I was wondering about three men. Declan was gone and I had no idea what was going on with Viktor and I. And then Jared was here. Jared was a male gigolo, but he had his moments like today.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked me silently.
“Just wondering why everything has ended up the way it has.”
He laid the picture down, and when he drew his arm back in, he brushed it against my arm and caused goosebumps to form in its wake. He moved my hair out of the way and began kissing my neck. I didn’t want it to stop, but I knew it was wrong on so many levels. It wasn’t right to do this to Jared, and even though Viktor wasn’t here, it wasn’t right to do it to him, either. Viktor had better have a good excuse.
I turned around to tell Jared to stop, but before I could get a word out, Jared’s lips captured mine. Absentmindedly, I wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me onto a table and began rubbing his hands up my thighs. I grabbed his hands and his eyes popped open to look at me.
“What?” he snapped at me.
“It’s not right or fair,” I said.
He stepped away and ran his hands through his hair. Standing in the light, Jared could have almost passed for an angel. He was dressed in a pair of loose jeans with a light blue t-shit. He was gorgeous, and in that moment I knew why all those girls threw themselves at him.
“Who, exactly, isn’t it fair for, Sloane? Me or Viktor? Because I don’t see him with you right now. I don’t see him making sure you are even alive.”
“It’s not fair to either of you.” Then the realization hit me. “Do you think I owe you this?”
“What? No, that’s not… No.” He was stuttering.
“Who are you trying to convince?” I hopped off the table and readjusted my robe. “Look, it’s not that I don’t want to, but it wouldn’t be a great way to start things off. I don’t know where the hell Viktor is, more less what he’s doing, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of throwing something like this in my face.” I walked back over to him as he leaned against the wall, as if trying to put space between us. “Jared, is this what you want? I mean, me? Not what I am or am supposed to be, but me?” I caressed his cheek.
“Sloane, I’ve never wanted anything more.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “But you need to ask yourself if I’m what you really want. It’s not a question of me wanting you. I will take you anyway I can have you, but you have to decide who you really want.” He brought both my hands up and kissed them. “I’m not blind; I know you have feelings for Viktor and you have a past with Declan. You need to decide who you want your future with.” He hugged me then.
“Thank you, Jared.” He gave me one more tight squeeze and stepped away.
“You have my number, Sloane. Call me when you’ve made your choice.” He grabbed his keys and sunglasses and left.
There I was again, all alone. I looked around the place and thought about everything that had happened, and even what could have happened. My head began to hurt with all the swarming thoughts, so I went to the medicine cabinet and took two Excedrin Migraines. After tossing them down, I picked up my cell phone and sent Shay a message.
ME: Hey, I’m sorry.
SHAY: R U OK?
ME: I’m fine, if you still love me.
SHAY: Shut up!
ME: