fill her in on what had happened. But I also knew that if it was me in her position and no one kept me up to date, the wrath of Godzilla would have nothing on me as I destroyed everyone in my path.
“She always has something to eat,” I said. “Let’s go give her the news.”
“What news?” Scarlet asked.
“About Vince.”
“Ahh, yes,” Scarlet said. “Maybe we should get a sandwich and run. I can’t handle a lot of drama today. Miami was more than I could handle. I remember why I’m not supposed to enter the city limits anymore.”
“I thought you just had a restraining order for that one club,” I said, looking at her, appalled. “What could you have possibly done to get kicked out of an entire city?”
“Eh,” she said, waving her hands. “I was set up. And no one even recognized me because I was wearing a disguise.”
“We walked right into the police station,” I said between gritted teeth. “What if they’d arrested you?”
Scarlet snickered. “That’s what makes it such a rush. I walked right under their noses. I’m slippery as an eel. Always have been, always will be.”
I was going to park in the driveway next to the General Lee, but my car was still there from when Scarlet had absconded with it. That seemed like ages ago.
“Look at old Edna Mohlner,” Scarlet said. “I bet she’s got blisters in her fingers from hanging on to that fence and peeping over. She always was a snoop. Never liked her, even when she was a kid.”
We got out of the van and went in the back way to the kitchen door.
“Why, Edna,” Scarlet said. “Did you get your hair done? It looks lovely. Takes twenty years off.”
I looked behind me to make sure I wasn’t having any out-of-body experience, but Scarlet really was giving Edna a compliment. Her smile was as fake as could be, and her fingers were crossed behind her back. Edna patted her freshly styled hair and preened a little.
“Just got it done today,” Edna said. “Jolene said it’s all the rage. You know how these styles circle back into popularity. Still haven’t seen hide nor hair of Vince. Something must be going on. Did he walk out on Phyllis? Someone mentioned it at the Piggly Wiggly the other day, but I told them straight out Vince would never do such a thing. He’s pined for her forever, and he’s just not the type of man to get what he wants and then throw it away. So I figure it’s probably Phyllis’s fault. She always has had a hot temper. Lord, I could hear her and Charlie screaming at each other from time to time. Sometimes it got so bad I’d just bring my lawn chair to the back porch and listen to the show. It was like the old radio broadcasts when I was a kid.”
My patience with Edna was running thin, so I figured it was imperative to make a hasty exit.
“Good to see you, Ms. Edna,” I said.
“I was just lying about her hair,” Scarlet whispered from the side of her mouth. “Sometimes you’ve got to butter people up so they’ll do things for you later. But between you, me, and the fencepost, she looks an awful lot like that Tiger King fella.”
I snorted out a laugh and we walked into my mother’s kitchen. She must’ve heard us drive up, because she was already at the counter making sandwiches.
“You need to feed my granddaughter,” my mother said. “You look terrible.”
“I think that has more to do with my roommates than the baby,” I said. “Scarlet and Kate painted the town red last night.”
“I thought you weren’t supposed to go to Miami anymore?” she asked Scarlet.
“What they don’t know, won’t hurt them,” Scarlet said. “I’d like extra pickles. I’m feeling a little vitamin deficient today.”
Scarlet scooted onto the bench in the small kitchen nook, her feet not even touching the floor.
“So?” my mother asked. “What did you find out about Vince? Whatever it is, I can take it. Was it another woman? It was, wasn’t it? Was she beautiful?”
“Of course she was beautiful,” Scarlet said. “It’s Miami. Everyone in Miami is beautiful.”
“Vince isn’t having an affair,” I said quickly, shooting Scarlet a narrowed glare. She just shrugged her shoulders and straightened her wig as she looked at the compact from her purse.
“He’s not? Well, did you find him? What’s wrong with him if he’s not having an affair?”
“From what I can find out,