skinny white ass for lunch and toss you into the bay.”
It was at that moment I saw Kate, standing on the corner at the stop sign. She had the look on her face she gets when she’s cursing in her head.
“Are those doll clothes?” Angelica asked. “I’ve never seen leather pants that tiny. She’s built like a small boy.”
I sighed. “She got them at the children’s section at Nordstrom. She’ll call the police if I don’t let her know I’m okay.”
I hoped Angelica didn’t realize that was Kate’s phone sitting on the console.
Angelica let out a fresh outburst of Spanish again and then said in English, “You are already more trouble than I want to deal with. In the old days, you’d have been someone’s mistress. And when they got tired of you, BOOM! BOOM!”
She said it so loud I jerked back in my seat. “Boom boom?” I asked.
“Double tap to the brain,” she said. “That’s what mistresses who cause trouble get. Big mess.”
“I’m married,” I said, not sure now was the best time to ask what the heck she was talking about.
“Hush, Double Tap,” she said, pinching my mouth closed with her fingers. “That’s what I’m going to call you from now on. Double Tap.”
I’d never had a nickname before, and it’s not one I would’ve chosen for myself, but I’d always been told if you chose your own nickname that it lacked significance.
I squeaked, completely out of my element, and I looked at Kate in panic.
“Why you making noises, Double Tap?” she asked. “Pull over and tell your friend to get in the car. I want to keep moving in case you brought anyone else to my doorstep.”
I was almost positive this was the exact opposite of what Nick had in mind when he told me to be careful and have a good time. I pulled over and rolled down the passenger side window, but Kate didn’t move, and I couldn’t read what she was thinking. Kate had a heck of a poker face.
“This is Angelica,” I told Kate. “You can get in the back seat. She probably won’t kill us.”
“I’m undecided,” Angelica said, looking Kate over. “What are you? Fourteen? You need breasts. You can buy them like mine. And even short legs like yours would look okay in these heels.” She took off her shoe and held up a leopard print stiletto. “It’s classy. Women don’t have class anymore. Are you going to get in the car or wait until someone drives by and kills us?”
“I guess I’ll get in,” Kate said, giving me a look that didn’t bode well for me later. “I wouldn’t want y’all to have all the fun without me. Nick’s going to love this, by the way.”
“I figured we could keep this part of the trip to ourselves,” I said.
“Secrets kill marriages,” Kate said.
“That’s true,” Angelica said. “Secrets and going to federal prison. It’s hard to have a marriage with either.”
“What did you mean when you said you told Vince to let sleeping dogs lie?” I asked. “Did you and Vince have a relationship?”
“You are funny, Double Tap,” she said, not answering the question. Then she turned and looked at Kate in the back seat. “Everyone in the mob has nicknames, did you know this?”
“I wasn’t aware,” Kate said.
“I’ll call you Chica,” Angelica said. “You are cute and sassy. Double Tap looks like someone has been sucking her blood. I knew a man who used to do that. You have no color in your face. You have dark circles beneath your eyes, and you’ve chewed your lipstick off.”
“Now you sound like my mother,” I said. “I told you I’m pregnant. And you’re holding a gun on me. I’m sorry I’m not looking my best while my life is hanging in the balance.”
“Drama llama,” Angelica said.
Kate nodded. “She’s always been like that. Ever since we were little kids.”
“You must be having a girl,” Angelica said. “I had all sons. They filled me with beauty. Your spawn is sucking the life from you.”
“Congratulations on your sons,” I said between clenched teeth. “Are you and Vince having an affair or not? Is he here? I just want to get him and go home. That’s all.”
“Vince would no doubt be an enthusiastic lover, but he is not mine,” she said. “And he is not here.”
“That’s all I needed to know,” I said. “How do I get you back home?”
“Keep driving,” she said. “It’s a nice evening and the sun’s still out for a little while