my mother’s and catching a flight to Miami. Nowhere in my plans was having my house demolished by drag queens or dragging Scarlet along with me to keep her out of trouble and rubble. I could get things done more efficiently if I left my two sidekicks at home. And I could be twice as efficient if I could talk Nick into making a quick trip with me. People listened to Nick. They stopped when he told them to stop. No one chased him with knives or Weed eaters. I felt bad about asking him, but there was a chance he’d wrapped his case. It was a small chance, but a chance is a chance.
I thought through my plan of action, and I figured the only way I could do it without hurting anyone’s feelings was to lie or manipulate. Or maybe a little of both.
I pulled Rosemarie to the side while Barry made himself at home and toured the house with the crew. It felt like this was one of those times where I should just go with whatever they had planned, so that’s what I was going to do. I was going to have complete faith in my friends to make sure that my baby had a place to come home to that wasn’t a construction site six and a half months from now. Because if not, I wasn’t even ashamed to say that I would hunt down and torture every last one of them and dance on their corpses while holding my swaddled baby.
“I have a favor to ask,” I said to Rosemarie, dropping my voice to a whisper. “I need to go to my mother’s and work on a few things regarding the case, but I don’t want to bring Scarlet with me because I don’t want anyone to die. My mother took knife-throwing lessons a few months ago, and it turns out she’s really good at it.”
Rosemarie nodded conspiratorially. “I understand just what you’re saying,” she said. “I guess Scarlet and Phyllis do rub each other the wrong way. Leave her here with me. I’ll make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble.”
“I’d appreciate it,” I said, patting her on the back.
Rosemarie went off to join Barry, and Scarlet came into the kitchen a few minutes later to start a pot of coffee. I closed my eyes and let the smell of dark roast wash over me. I missed coffee. I figured if I drank something that kept me awake and made me miserable when I went too long without, it probably had the same effects on the baby. Since tea made me calm and put me to sleep, I was hoping the same theory applied.
Scarlet was still wearing her robe and turban, but she’d added red lipstick somewhere along the way. I didn’t know if it was for appearances’ sake or because she really thought Barry was romancing her.
“I have a favor to ask,” I said.
“I’m not much on favors,” she said, staring at the coffeepot as if that would make it brew faster. “If I do you a favor, then everyone is going to want a favor. And then you’re going to owe me a favor. Last time I did somebody a favor they up and died on me before I could collect. Then I had to steal a pocket watch off a man at a wake.”
My mouth dropped open and I was momentarily speechless. “Don’t think of it as a favor then,” I said, once my wits came back. “Think of it as being in charge.”
She perked up at that. “I like being in charge. What do you have in mind?”
“These guys are here to do some home renovations,” I said. “I’m not exactly sure how things got to this point, but they escalated quickly. I have no idea what they plan to do or how extensive the work is going to be.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “I get it. You want to make sure they don’t screw up.” She pursed her lips and finally removed the pot and stuck her cup directly under where the coffee was coming out. “I’ve seen Rosemarie’s place. She’s got questionable taste. I’ve never seen a gingham and leather combo before.”
I winced. “That pretty much describes Rosemarie perfectly. I’d appreciate you being a project manager of sorts while I’m gone. It’s not a favor. It’s a job.”
“And I’m the boss,” she said, nodding. “You can count on me. I wonder if they have an extra hard hat. I