But with Julian, it was difficult. She had it. She was close to saying it. But she had choked and allowed her feet to retreat into the elevator.
The guy tells you that he’s loved you from the start and you can’t even tell him you love him back?
Oh God, you’re a selfish bitch!
“Julian,” she whispered as she snapped her focus to the devastation in his eyes. “I can’t go for a walk with you today.”
He gave her a restrained smile. “That’s okay, Stephanie. Some other time.”
Stevie watched the doors start to move in front of her. Her heart broke at the defeat and fatigue in his eyes. The only relief from the pain she had inflicted on him was the vision of the steel doors completely blocking Julian from her sights.
“I love you,” she mumbled like the coward she was.
“Are you sure you’re all right, son?” his father asked.
Julian kept his eyes on the pink peony tree that his mother had planted the year before she had died from breast cancer. He had been almost ten. What Julian missed the most was the way she had smiled and the way her hugs had shown him love. His mother was the kindest person he had ever known. Instead of crying, he grinned at the pink flowers as he turned his body to face his father.
“I’m all right, old man,” Julian replied in a small voice.
“Come here and sit with me.” His father patted the patio bench and then gestured him over with a wave of his hand.
Julian pressed his lips firmly together as he made his way over to the bench and sat down. The air was different in the suburbs. It was crisper, cleaner, and it had the smell of his childhood and good memories. However, it was bittersweet to be home. If he hadn’t left, he wouldn’t have spent so much time away from his family. And he wouldn’t have been so unhappy. But now, Julian had never been more heartbroken. He had all but confessed his love for Stephanie, and she had thrown it in his face. When the elevator doors had closed, he screamed out his frustrations and almost threw his fist into the elevator panel. She didn’t love him. She hadn’t expressed whether she cared or not. All she said was that she couldn’t walk with him today.
She leeks me, but she doesn’t love me.
I want your love, Stephanie.
“Julian, are you sure you’re doing okay? You have a frown larger than anything I’ve seen on your face,” his father remarked with a layer of concern in his voice.
“’Course, I’m doing okay,” he lied. “’Nough about me. How are you holding up? Still thriving? You been going to Rob’s races?”
The proud smile on his father’s face enticed Julian’s grin. His mother had been the one who introduced rowing to Rob. It was like his father saw a bit of their mother in Rob. And for Julian, he felt guilty for not loving rowing like his brother did.
“He beat his personal best. I think he has a great chance of making it onto the Australian team and placing at Nationals. World’s is soon. I hope that your brother can really put a dent in a record or two. But overall, it’s looking good for him,” his father said.
“Good for Rob. I’m proud of him,” Julian said honestly.
His father gently set his hand on Julian’s shoulder. “He’s proud of you, too. He was happy when he heard you landed the Milan job. I know he doesn’t always show you, but he is proud of all your achievements.”
Julian nodded and shifted his attention to his mother’s tree. It was so vibrant and beautiful that it reminded him of her. Her warm smile and her light blue eyes. She had left a hole in his world the second she had died.
“Tell me about this girl,” his father said.
“I told her I love her.” Julian watched a pink petal fall to the ground and then took a deep breath. “But she didn’t say it back. She let the door close and that was it.”
He heard his father hum. “Do you think she loves you?”
His father’s question caused him to sigh heavily. “I know she does. I feel it, Dad. I feel it in the way she looks at me, in the way she smiles at me, in the way she calls me an idiot, and in the way she kisses me. I’ve felt it from the moment she first said my name