shit.”
Honesty.
You are a stupid policy.
He didn’t give her any time to respond as he turned around and walked towards the entrance of the apartment building.
“Wait!” Stevie called out for him.
Julian stopped halfway to the double doors. “Yes, Stephanie?”
The way he said her name made her heart miss a beat. She swallowed hard in an attempt to squash that stupid missing heartbeat phenomenon going on in her chest. “I don’t think you should be here. I told you, if you have any resp—”
Julian shook the box he held, stopping her. “Blondie, what shit do you have in here? Look, I hope none of it was real important to you… Ahhh, Max may have dropped a box or two… or six.”
Stevie stepped forward and took the box out of his hands. None of that was important. She thought she had made it clear at the wedding that he had to stay away.
“I meant it, Julian. Look, you seem to have done real fine for yourself. You don’t need what I am to mess up this life you have. Respect yourself enough to stay away from me,” Stevie instructed firmly. Julian’s shoulders sagged then he took the box out of her hands.
“Stephanie, I’m not as pure as you think I am. Yeah, I Googled it! And honestly, I don’t have much self-respect to stay away. I don’t know why you don’t think you’re not pure, but I see it in your eyes. Tu es pure, Stephanie,” Julian said.
You’re pure, Stephanie.
By the smile on his face, Stevie knew he was satisfied with his reply. Pure. That one word dug deep into her heart.
“We’re all a little tainted, Stevie. But deep down we’re all still pure. It just takes some time and someone to purify all the darkness away.”
Stevie’s breathing came out in heavy gasps, as she tried to stop the fire that burned through her chest. The ache made it difficult for her to breathe. She looked up at Julian, his eyes filled with concern.
Don’t think about London.
Don’t think about Thailand.
“Stop that!” she said once she got her equilibrium.
“Stop what?” he asked as he adjusted the box in his hand.
“Thinking you know who I am! Stephanie is long gone, Julian. I am not pure. I am far from it. You are pure. I am tainted. I’m not going to warn you again. Stay away from me! Don’t talk to me about then; it’s in the past. My name is Stevie. It always has been. I lied to you about my name from the very start.”
Julian let out a soft laugh. “Actually, you were honest from the start. You’ve just been lying to everyone else about your name. Me? Pure? I’m Julian Moors, Stephanie; there is nothing pure about me. But you’d be the one to purify me,” he said, taking her breath away.
I can’t be that person for him.
But he’s right.
When I met him, I had lied to everyone but him.
I was Stephanie.
I was the me I didn’t want people to know.
Stevie shook her head, stopping the thought from playing out. She reached for the box, but Julian moved.
“Blondie, don’t even try. I’m here to help you move in. I also bet you haven’t stopped thinking about that kiss.” He was diverting the conversation. It was as if he knew she was afraid to talk further about the previous topic.
Stevie tilted her head back and stared at the flawless blue sky. Then she closed her eyes.
“Whenever you’re lost, Stephanie, just look at the sky and the stars. They’re your direction, and they’re your hope and inspiration. They were witnesses to what we shared here.”
No use. Thoughts of Thailand came back in waves and she tried to control the stinging sensation in her eyes. Stevie had taken two long breaths before she gazed back at Julian’s raised eyebrow.
“Can you just… Argh! Don’t be difficult, Julian. Just help me move in and then leave,” she said, frustrated.
“You never used to have such a short fuse, Stephanie,” Julian pointed out.
Before Stevie could reply, she felt someone bump her. Turning her head, Jarred flashed her a smile as he held up a power board and a receipt.
“Thought your room would need one. Don’t worry; I don’t need your money. Your treat for breakfast next week.” Jarred craned his neck and stared at Julian.
Stevie could feel herself sweat and get nervous. If Jarred ever found out who Julian really was to her, then it wouldn’t end well. The only time Jarred ever lost his composure was when it came