I wouldn’t have it any other way.
By the time I stop by my house to shower and change and then make my way to the orchard, most of my family have already beaten me there.
“Oh, Webster, there you are!” My grandmother, Nora, calls as I climb down from my truck and slam the door closed.
I rush toward her and wrap my arms around her small frame. “Hey, Nanna.”
She’s in her late seventies and very healthy and active for her age. I know my grandfather’s death last year took a massive toll on her—understandably, of course—but I’m so glad she hasn’t let herself just wilt away in his absence; that’s the last thing he’d ever have wanted.
“Now I wanted to talk to you,” she says in a conspiratorial tone as she leads me back to the house. “My bingo girls have put some money together and we’d like you to invest it.”
I frown at her. “Invest it how?” And why, exactly, is she asking me for advice about this? My area of expertise is in building things, not in financial planning.
“Well, in Vegas, of course,” she says as though it should have been obvious.
I pause in my step and look down at her. “What? You want me to gamble your money for you? Nanna, that’s not investment.”
“It is if you win,” she says with a shrug.
I let out an exasperated sigh, shaking my head.
Completely ignoring me, she pushes on. “Webster, it’s already been decided. All the girls want to do something exciting with the money and they’ve chosen roulette. We tried to do it ourselves online but the Vegas website kept redirecting us to some very…questionable sites. For some reason my computer thinks I’m interested in lesbian porn.”
“Okay…moving on. Why do you need me to help with this?”
“Well, because you’re the most responsible one,” she says, smiling at me affectionately.
I narrow my gaze suspiciously. “Is that a round-about way of saying I’m the most boring?”
“Definitely!” A familiar voice says from behind me and I turn to see my cousin George grinning from ear to ear. Next to him, Zack’s best friend Lawson, who basically followed Zack home here last year and then just never left, is also looking very amused.
“Hi, my angels,” Nanna says with a warm smile, reaching forward to hug first George, then Law. Once she releases him from the hug, she says to Lawson, “You don’t like watching girls have sex with each other, do you?”
Lawson’s brows shoot up, the corner of his mouth twitching in amusement. “Can’t say that would interest me very much, no.”
“Are you any good with computers?” Nanna asks. “I need to know where I can find the good porn. The stuff with men in it.”
Lawson’s face lights up and he places a hand over his chest. “Oh, Nora, say no more. I’ve got you covered.”
And while I attempt to erase the last few minutes of conversation from my memory, Lawson reaches out and puts his arm around Nanna’s shoulder, steering her away from George and me. I can hear her voice getting softer as they move farther away: “I won’t have to pay, will I?”
I glance back at George, expecting to exchange mortified glances, but I’d obviously forgotten who I was standing with. Instead of seeming horrified like a good grandson should, George is gazing after Nanna with a look of pride on his face. Of course he is.
“Hey, what’s going on?” my cousin Harriett, one of George’s five older sisters, asks as she joins us.
I shake my head ruefully. “Oh you know, just Nanna trying to recruit me to gamble for her in Vegas and Lawson teaching her how to get free porn online and me trying to erase the entire thing from my mind.”
3
From the private Facebook group ‘Finchley Locals Community Hangout’
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Post by George Goode: Attention! Our very own Lawson Hale will be doing a reading from his book Flashpoint at Knitting and Drinking and Book Club next Tuesday night. 8pm at the saloon, you won’t want to miss it!
Alice Ackerman reply to George Goode’s post: Will he be reading the naughty bits?
George Goode reply to Alice Ackerman’s comment: This is a family place, Alice. We need to keep things clean
Gunner Clarke reply to George Goode’s comment: Since when?
George Goode reply to Gunner Clarke’s comment: Since a Yelp review calling us a house of ill-repute went viral.
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Jesse
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The fact that David and I have been living together for two years and it only takes me half