expression, aware of how much it must have cost Web to make that admission. But internally, my mind is whirring, tossing up all manner of explanations to justify that pronouncement. I hear Web’s gasping voice from the other night: “I’ve never…I’ve never…” At the time I assumed he meant he hadn’t been with a guy before, but maybe I’d read the situation wrong?
“The other night,” I begin slowly, searching for my words, “I thought you were telling me you hadn’t been with a guy before. But that’s not what you were trying to tell me, was it?”
He shakes his head. “No, I’ve been with guys before. And girls.”
I let out a breath of wry laughter. “And here I thought I’d popped your cherry.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” Web says with a soft smile.
“So…you’ve always hated sex?” I manage to ask.
Web lifts one shoulder in a nonchalant shrug. “Hate’s a strong word. More like…indifferent. I always got off, but I never really felt…fulfilled. If that makes sense. And I always felt like I wouldn’t be missing anything if I went home early instead of hooking up with someone…”
“But Saturday was different?” I’m trying not to let the desperation show, but I can’t really help it.
He nods, giving my hand a soft squeeze. “Saturday was very different.”
“Maybe it was Vegas?” I suggest. “Or the adrenaline? Or the alcohol?”
“Maybe. Or maybe it was you.” He gives me the kind of look that tells me he already knows the answer.
I offer a soft smile, leaning in closer. “You know there’s only one way to find out, right?”
“I hope you’re not about to suggest we go back to Vegas,” he says dryly. “I could do without stepping foot in Nevada again in my lifetime.”
I let out a wry chuckle. “Not exactly what I was thinking, sweetie pie.”
I shuffle around a bit more so I’m facing him, and, with my free hand, reach out to gently run my fingers through his silky dark hair before leaning in to brush my lips against his.
He lets out a little breath that I feel tingling over my lips and then reaches to grip at my shoulder as he increases the pressure of the kiss.
I know I should probably hold back a little, let Web set the pace, but instinct and a desperate need to taste takes over me and I can’t stop myself from delving my tongue into his mouth, letting out a strangled groan against his lips at the sensation of it tangling with his.
My breathing heavy, I manage to pull away from Web’s mouth for a moment. “You have to let me know what you’re feeling,” I tell him. “And what you want. I don’t want you to just go through the motions because you think it’s what I want.”
Web grins, pressing his lips back to mine. “Trust me, I want this.”
Oh, thank god.
I kiss him again, hard and deep, before pulling back to reassure him, “But if at any point you’re not feeling it, that’s okay. Just tell me and we can stop.”
Web lets out an aggravated grunt and pushes away from me. “Jesse, I’m fine. You don’t need to tiptoe around me just because I’m weird. I can handle it, it’s fine.”
He starts to get up, but I grab his wrist and pull him back down, pushing him onto the mattress and straddling his waist. Hovering over him so I’m right up in his face, I growl, “There is nothing weird about you, Webster. And I don’t care if you can handle it. I can’t handle the idea of you just ‘going through the motions’ with me,” I say using one handed air quotes to emphasize the words. “And I definitely can’t handle if we do this and you don’t feel fulfilled afterward. So, if at any point you feel like you’re not enjoying it, you will tell me and we will stop. Clear?”
Eyes shining with emotion, he nods his head once before glancing away. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
“For being…like this. I shouldn’t have told you—”
“Fucking hell.” I let out a groan of exasperation. “Didn’t I just make the speech? I thought I made the speech, and it was really good, too.” I sigh, giving a soft shake of my head. “Look at me, Web.” With what seems like a great amount of effort, he returns his gaze to mine. The anxiety I see in his beautiful brown eyes sends a sharp pang to my chest. “Listen up. Everyone experiences sex differently, so if you think about it, the