felt so good. But it wasn't only that. I loved seeing the enjoyment in Nikolai’s eyes as he pleasured me. From the moment he’d taken my cock into his mouth, I’d forgotten that I was supposed to be bringing him pleasure as well. I’d never had a guy put so much effort into pleasing me, but it was there to see in the way Nikolai's cheeks were hollowed out and his gorgeous eyes kept shifting up to capture mine as he swallowed me down over and over again.
"Oh God, I'm too close," I said gruffly. That only had Nikolai working harder, so I gripped his hair hard. Hard enough that he was forced to look up at me. I knew I would never forget the sight of his wet lips wrapped around my slick shaft.
“Close," I repeated. He seemed to get the message because he slid up my body and then took ownership of my mouth. I could taste myself on him.
Despite the heated moment we’d just shared, Nikolai kissed me slowly and deeply, like he had all the time in the world. I felt like the most valued of treasures. By the time he broke the kiss, I felt almost dizzy from the lack of oxygen.
As Nikolai hung his head next to mine, I could tell he was no better off. Harsh breaths escaped his lips as he used his hands to fumble around in his pockets for something. It wasn't until he pulled out his wallet that I had an inkling of what he was looking for. The sight of the condom and packet of lube being removed from the wallet had my insides dancing.
I knew I could still stop all of this if I wanted to. Truthfully, there was a tiny part of me that did want to stop because I knew that once this happened, once I felt Nikolai inside me, I’d never be able to let him go. I’d already lost so much of my heart to the man. Was I really prepared to lose the rest of it? He’d said he needed me, but I knew it had just been something spoken in the heat of the moment.
So it really all boiled down to a simple choice. I could have him tonight and face the consequences tomorrow, or I could spend the rest of my life wondering what it would've been like to be with the man I was falling in love with in every way that mattered.
My decision was made for me when I saw how Nikolai's fingers shook as he tried to tear the condom packet open. I covered his hand with mine then leaned into him and whispered, "Just breathe, sweetheart."
I wasn't sure if I'd overstepped my bounds, both by interrupting the process and by the use of the endearment, but after several long beats, Nikolai nodded and then leaned in to brush his mouth over mine in the softest of kisses.
"Sorry," he whispered.
We were both still panting hard, and under normal circumstances, I would've been aghast at the prospect of sitting naked on my own vanity as I desperately waited to get fucked. But something about all of this was different. It was in the way that Nikolai held himself during the momentary show of nerves. These would be the moments that I would remember for the rest of my life. When the time came where I did see my life flash before me, this memory would be right at the top of the list. Not the off-the-charts sex that was sure to follow, but the few seconds where I got to see that the man I was so quickly falling for was just as human as me.
"Wanted to go slower," Nikolai admitted. He motioned in the direction of the shower. I found myself smiling as I realized he’d planned for us to start off in the shower. Hell, maybe he hadn’t planned for us to have sex at all. “Wanted it to be perfect,” he added.
I leaned forward and brushed my mouth against his. “It is, Nikolai."
I lifted one hand to the back of his neck so I could take control of our kisses. I used the other hand to ease the condom and lube from his fingers. Nikolai immediately stepped forward and kissed me back and then settled his hands on my waist. I took my time just indulging in the perfection of his mouth. I had no clue how much time passed before I felt Nikolai's fingertips