notes he’d managed to grab clutched between his fingers. He left the bathroom. I followed him to the living room and watched him sit down on the couch. I sent Andy a quick text letting him know that the police would be arriving shortly and then went to sit next to Jude. He kept flexing his fingers around the Post-it notes, so I eased them from his hand and then inserted mine in their place. I was glad when he wrapped his fingers around mine.
"Jude, it will be all right, I promise.”
But he didn't respond. He merely shook his head and clung to my hand. And the harder he held on to me, the more uneasy I became.
What if I’d just done the unthinkable and made Jude yet another promise? Another one that I had no sure way of keeping?
Chapter 16
Jude
"Sir, can you tell me why you have toy cars in your nightstand?"
"What difference does it make why he has them?" I heard Nikolai say, though it sounded like he was underwater when he said it. I figured that probably had more to do with my head than with him, though.
I felt sick to my stomach as the pounding in my head got worse. The humiliation and sense of violation just kept coming at me from every direction. It had started with Nikolai and now I could feel it in every look I got from the cops that were exploring my apartment. Reading every note and every sticky I had but not caring why the damn things were there in the first place. I was trapped in a nightmare whose reality was no better.
"Okay, we're done here," Nikolai snapped at someone. I thought I felt his big hand smoothing over my back, but I wasn't sure.
"Look, buddy, if you want us to figure out who broke into your boyfriend's place—"
"I said we’re done here."
I probably should've corrected the officer about Nikolai being my boyfriend, but the ability to speak wasn’t exactly my friend at the moment. I felt Nikolai’s fingers slide through my hair as he leaned into me and said, "Come on, baby, let's go pack a bag for you.”
I nodded because there was no way I’d planned on staying in my apartment anyway. As pissed as I was at Nikolai for having called the cops in the first place, I followed him without hesitation as he led me to my bedroom. I could see black dust all over my nightstand and someone was bagging up my cars. I wanted to protest because, despite everything, I needed those damn cars.
But I also knew I had no say in the matter. I looked in the direction of my bathroom and saw an officer reading through the notes on my mirror that I hadn't managed to remove before Nikolai had pulled me away.
"Get me out of here," I whispered to Nikolai. "Please," I added. If I stayed there even a moment longer, I knew I'd shatter into a million pieces and embarrass myself even further.
Nikolai grabbed my hand and led me out of the apartment. We were in the SUV before I knew it.
"Take me to Cliff's house, please," I said. I went to reach for my phone so I could let Cliff know I was coming, but then realized I’d forgotten to grab it off the coffee table. Since I had absolutely no desire to go back to get it, I didn't even mention it to Nikolai. Cliff had plenty of staff on hand to let me in. I’d explain to Cliff what I was doing there in the morning.
Nikolai didn't respond to my request but that was fine by me. The humiliation and shame felt like someone had dropped several boulders onto my belly. As it was, I could hardly breathe. I told myself I just needed to maintain some semblance of control long enough to get me to Cliff's house. Nikolai was sitting next to me on the bench seat, but thankfully, he didn't touch me. If he had, I would've dissolved into tears.
I wasn't a crier, not really. But there were some things that just pushed me over the edge and today had been the perfect storm of circumstances. Between finding out that someone had sabotaged my business deal on purpose and then coming home to find that my personal space had been violated, I felt lost and out of control.
The drive to Cliff's place seemed to take longer than it should have but without my phone,