Sasha. I like you. Not because of who you were or who you might be in the future. I like you for the person you are now. I’m hard for you now.”
She squeezes my dick in her small palm. I flip her over on her back in one swift motion, and then hover myself over her body. “Say no if you want me to stop.”
I stare into her eyes as she thinks about my words. And just when she’s about to answer me, I put a finger to her lips.
She moans.
And then she opens her mouth and my finger slips inside. The wetness of her tongue sliding up and down my finger as I pump it in and out drives me insane. I would do anything to keep this girl. Anything.
She bucks her hips upward, driving into mine. Rubbing against my hard-on. “I want you on top,” I say, withdrawing my finger.
“Put me there.”
I reach underneath her back, hold her close to me, and then flip us over. Her knees immediately slide up next to my hips and she rises up on them as she pulls her t-shirt over her head.
“Holy fuck,” is the only thing I can manage as I stare at her perfect breasts. “You want something real? If you walk out on me tomorrow, Sasha, I will never recover. That’s something real.”
“I’ve never been naked in front of a man before.”
The change of subject is seamless. And it stuns me. “Never?”
“I have never let a man look at my body.” And then she rolls on her back, balancing herself on top of my thighs, and slips my boxer briefs down her legs. She gives me the most perfect pussy shot in the history of lust.
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
Before those words are out of my mouth, she’s back on top—knees at my hips, pussy over my hard-on, and her breasts pushing into my chest. “Fuck tomorrow. I always thought that was my motto. But I’m a fraud, Jax. I’ve been afraid of tomorrow my whole life. And just once I’d really like to give tomorrow the finger and not think about the consequences.”
“I am happy to help you flip off the future.”
She laughs. “I’m serious.”
“Me too.”
“Then why are you still wearing pants?”
“Sasha—”
“Please,” she begs. “Make it stop. Make this loneliness go away. I’m so fucking tired of being alone.”
I pull my shirt over my head and toss it into the hazy darkness and she lifts up her hips to allow me to get out of my boxers. They go flying into the void with the shirt. “You’re lying, right? About never being naked in front of a man?”
“I’m not. I spent every night I ever spent with a man trying my best to hide who I am. I never took off my clothes in the light because I thought they’d see through me.” And then she reaches over to the bedside table and flips on the small lamp. She bares her body to me in the glow. And when I look up into her eyes I see nothing but fear.
“Come here,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around her back and pulling her into my chest. “We don’t need sex, Sasha. I’m not here to take advantage of your confusion.”
“I do need it, Jax. I really, really do. And I need it with you. Because I believe you when you say I’m safe. And I’ve got to be honest, safe is something I’ve never felt before.”
God, that is sad. “You’re safe now. OK? And maybe you should say no tomorrow. You can say no and I’ll still want you. I don’t care about the job, Sasha. Really. I don’t. I was so persistent because I thought I’d get to keep you around. I thought I’d get to see you every day. We might become friends. And then maybe more than friends.”
Her chest hitches for a moment and there’s a split second when I think she might cry. But she draws in a long breath of air and gets it under control. “I thought we were flipping tomorrow the finger?”
“We are,” I say, rolling us over again. She lets out a small squeal and I take that as encouragement. I want her to be happy. I don’t want her to feel used by me tonight. I don’t want to take her. I want to feel her.
I inch my way down her body, kissing the soft skin of her breasts as I go. I squeeze the nipple of one and suck gently