said we should share this everywhere we can. I’m going to put a call-out to every friend, family member and classmate on all twenty-three of my friends’ lists. I’ll do the same on yours.” She looks at me, her face illuminated by the glow of the computer screen. “I’ll hack into Jack’s and do his, too. Maybe even spread it to some of my friends to do their thing to make sure the news coverage is spread far and wide.”
For as long as I’ve known her, Sofie has been brilliant, if not a little nerdy. She can do things with computers that make my already-limited skills look like child’s play. In fact, after high school graduation, she went on to university to study things I couldn't even begin to understand. Jack always used to say she could take over the world with the way she knew how to handle men and a computer.
Jack returns with a plate of sandwiches and a big glass of sweet tea. He sets them on the table beside me and says, “Eat.”
There’s nothing I want to do less than eat, but I know I haven’t had anything in twenty-four hours and I have to keep up my strength, so I do as he asks. I choke down bites of it with the refreshing glass of tea as Sofie clicks away on her computer and Jack scowls at her from his perch on the recliner.
With each hour that passes, the sucking hole in my stomach grows until I feel like I’m going to be swallowed by it. When darkness falls, Sofie has exhausted all of her resources and Jack has taken to pacing the length of the couch as we wait for word from Ben and Logan.
I almost jump out of my seat when I hear the lock clicking on the front door and Logan’s smooth voice trailing through. I immediately jump to my feet and race to the door, hope surging to my throat.
The look on Ben’s face tells me all I need to know, however, and my knees just go out, making me fall against him. I sense Logan heading to the living room, presumably to tell the others the news—or lack thereof, rather. Ben murmurs to Logan to let the others know they can head home until tomorrow.
Ben gathers me close to his chest like he did in the conference room, only this time, I’m too raw to cry out my pain. I feel like I have nothing left. I’m completely empty inside. As the others talk to Logan, Ben leads me up the stairs to my master bathroom.
His once light-hearted face is completely somber as he undresses me. When I am standing before him naked, he turns on the shower and adjusts the temperature. I watch listlessly as he sheds his own clothes, too numb to react in any way whatsoever.
He pulls me underneath the warm spray and I mold to him, drawing what strength I can from his embrace. The water sluices over us both, washing away the grime and sweat. We take turns lathering up a washcloth and rubbing it over each other.
Ben still hasn’t said a word, but I’m starting to learn that this new Ben doesn’t need to talk a lot to get his point across. Regardless, what little energy I had was completely sucked out of me when Cole wasn’t with him when he came home. I slip into one of his shirts that somehow showed up mixed in my laundry. The smell manages to calm my jangled nerves somewhat. I brush my teeth as he tugs on a pair of briefs.
He slides into the covers and holds them open for me. I join him, snuggling into his shoulder and plastering my body against his. I fall asleep to the cadence of his heartbeat with the hope that the next day will bring good news.
WATCHING OLIVIA SHUFFLE around her house like the life has been sucked out of her hurts just as much as not knowing where our son is. Every other day, I woke up wrapped in her scent, wrapped in her. Her legs and arms twined around me like she was afraid I would somehow disappear again.
But not today.
Today, I woke to a cold, empty bed, and as I watch her make half-hearted attempts at conversation, I feel the same emptiness clawing at my chest. Guilt burns heavy and hot in my stomach.
I find her in the downstairs bath, hands sheathed in yellow rubber gloves