what’s up?”
“How did you not know you had a kid? You sure surprised the hell out of Chloe. And trust me, I’ve given significant time and effort to the plight.”
“We’ve been on-again, off-again for a while now. I was in the Marines until a few months ago. Anyway, I deployed a while back and we hooked up just before I left. I didn’t have access to internet, and the mail service was spotty at best where we were. And I…” I look over at Cole, who’s gnawing on a block. “I wasn’t in the best shape after that last deployment, for a lot of reasons, and when I saw her, with the baby and all, it was like I shut down. I won’t forgive myself for that.”
Gabe looks like he wants to say something, but Livvie chooses that moment to holler into the kitchen, “Hey, we’re starving here. Are you ladies going to keep clucking, or are we going to eat?”
I help him finish the rest of the food, but the actions don’t distract me from my renewed guilt.
After dinner, I walk Olivia and a sleeping Cole back to the car.
“That was nice,” Olivia says. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to see Chloe. And Gabe seems like a good guy. They make a cute couple. The way they met was so sweet.”
“He’ll do,” I tell her.
Olivia buckles Cole into his seat, and I set his bundle of things next to him. Though it’s only been a short time since we’ve been going out together as a family unit, we’ve already gotten things like this down to a rhythm. I find myself watching the street for a white SUV as Livvie buckles herself in next to me.
As I make the short drive back to Livvie’s house, I scan her yard for odd shadows. Her security system is top-notch, Jack made sure of that, but ever since I moved myself in, I’ve kept an eye out. Just in case. After the past ten years, it’s become second nature to keep an eye on my surroundings. The break-in and the shooting have left a bad taste in my mouth and make the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge. Even though Logan’s co-workers covering the case think both are isolated incidents, I know better than to let my guard down.
Her house is quiet and seemingly safe when we enter. She smiles at me then takes the baby upstairs to put him down. I lean against the back door while Hank runs excited circles around the kitchen. As I wait for Olivia to make her way back downstairs, I cycle between wanting to push her away and never letting her leave my sight.
I FELT HIS charged stare all through dinner and it’s left me unsettled in my own skin. I escape to the bathroom after settling Cole in for the night to splash some water on my face, though it does little to cool me down.
I take a few deep breaths and tell myself not to be such a child. We have a kid together, for Christ’s sake. I’m going to have to face him for at least eighteen more years. We should be able to do things like have dinners and go on outings without there being this kind of tension between us. I resolve to ignore whatever lingering feelings I may have because even if Ben can trust me after my lie, who's to say he even wants a relationship now?
I repeat these things to myself after freshening up as I walk down the hallway toward the stairs. I’m so caught up in resolving to ignore Ben that I don’t realize he’s come upstairs until he’s right in front of me.
My feet freeze and my eyes round. My traitorous heart beats an unsteady rhythm in my chest. “Hey,” I whisper, because all other words have failed me.
He rocks back on his heels and hooks his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans. “Thought you got lost,” he says.
“No—uh—I was just in the bathroom.” I shake my head to clear the confusion. “Are you going to bed?”
He takes a step toward me, and I find myself backing up toward the wall. “No, I was coming up to talk to you.”
“Me?” I’m completely mortified to find that my voice is little more than a squeak.
“I think it’s time we had that talk.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
“I’m thinking we’re past