What if she’d finally had enough and said to hell with him and everyone else?
After being told that Kelly was seen walking down the street, Ryan panicked and took off at a run. Fear lanced through him at the idea of her being out alone, upset, on her feet when she had no business walking such a distance.
He brushed by countless people and then he saw her just ahead, getting into a cab at the next block. He yelled her name, but the door shut and the cab drove off—leaving him standing on the sidewalk, his heart about to explode out of his chest.
He waved at a passing cab, frustrated when it didn’t slow. The next one stopped and he climbed in, directing the driver to his address. The entire way back to his apartment he prayed that she’d be there.
When the cab pulled up to his apartment building, he got out and hurried toward the door. When he reached the doorman, he stopped.
“Did you see Miss Christian come in a few minutes ago?”
The doorman nodded. “Yes, sir. She got here just before you arrived.”
Relief staggered him. He bolted for the elevator. A few moments later, he strode into the apartment.
“Kelly? Kelly, honey, where are you?”
Not waiting for an answer, he hurried into the bedroom to see her sitting on the edge of the bed, her face pale and drawn in pain. When she heard him, she looked up and he winced at the dullness in her eyes.
She’d been crying.
“I thought I could do it,” she said in a raw voice, before he could beg her forgiveness. “I thought I could just go on and forget and that I could accept others thinking the worst of me as long as you and I were okay again. I did myself a huge disservice.”
“Kelly…”
Something in her look silenced him and he stood several feet away, a feeling of helplessness gripping him as he watched her try to compose herself.
“I sat there tonight while your friends and your mother looked at me in disgust, while they looked at you with a mixture of pity and disbelief in their eyes. All because you took me back. The tramp who betrayed you in the worst possible manner. And I thought to myself I don’t deserve this. I’ve never deserved it. I deserve better.”
She raised her eyes to his and he flinched at the horrible pain he saw reflected there. Then she laughed. A raw, terrible sound that grated across his ears.
“And earlier tonight you forgave me. You stood there and told me it no longer mattered what happened in the past because you forgave me and you wanted to move forward.”
She curled her fingers into tight balls and rage flared in her eyes. She stood and stared him down even as tears ran in endless streams down her cheeks.
“Well, I don’t forgive you. Nor can I forget that you betrayed me in the worst way a man can betray the woman he’s supposed to love and be sworn to protect.”
He took a step back, reeling from the fury in her voice. His eyes narrowed. “You don’t forgive me?”
“I told you the truth that day,” she said hoarsely, her voice cracking under the weight of her tears. “I begged you to believe me. I got down on my knees and begged you. And what did you do? You wrote me a damn check and told me to get out.”
He took another step back, his hand going to his hair. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. So much of that day was a blur. He remembered her on her knees, her tear-stained face, how she put her hand on his leg and whispered, “Please don’t do this.”
It made him sick. He never wanted to go back to the way he felt that day, but somehow this was worse because there was something terribly wrong in her eyes and in her voice. “Your brother assaulted me. He forced himself on me. I didn’t invite his attentions. I wore the bruises from his attack for two weeks. Two weeks. I was so stunned by what he’d done that all I could think about was getting to you. I knew you’d fix it. You’d protect me. You’d take care of me. I knew you’d make it right. All I could think about was running to you. And, oh God, I did and you looked right through me.”
The sick knot in his stomach grew and his chest tightened so much he couldn’t