say that would make the cloud she walked on evaporate.
Ryan cared about her. He wanted to marry her. What else mattered?
She hugged that thought to her later as she picked through her clothing, trying to find the perfect outfit to wear to the dinner.
Before, it wouldn’t even occur to her that an outfit was too sexy or revealing. If it looked good on her, and if she knew Ryan would like it, that was her only criteria.
But now she worried that with the sentiment already being that she was a…slut…she would merely perpetuate that belief if she wore anything that wasn’t ultraconservative. And that pissed her off. She shouldn’t care what these people thought of her. But it wasn’t that easy. They were important to Ryan and Ryan was important to her.
Warm hands suddenly stole over her body, sliding around to her belly. She was drawn into a hard chest and sensual lips nibbled at her neck.
She sighed and relaxed into Ryan, her pulse speeding up.
“Is there a particular reason you’re standing in your closet staring at your clothes?” he murmured against her ear.
She turned and laced her arms around his neck as she rose up on tiptoe to kiss him. “You’re home early.”
“Couldn’t wait to see you. So what’s with the closet?”
Her lips twisted into a frown and she let out a disgruntled sigh. “Just trying to find something to wear tonight. Something that doesn’t make me look like the tramp they think I am.”
Ryan’s expression gentled and he trailed a finger over her cheekbone. Taking her arms, he backed out of her closet and toward the bed until the back of his legs bumped against the mattress.
He sat down and pulled her down with him.
“You’ll look beautiful no matter what you wear. Stop worrying so much.”
“I know. It’s silly. I can’t help it. I’m nervous.”
“I don’t want you to worry, Kell. The past is in the past. I don’t know that I’ve ever said the words, but I forgive you. And if I can forgive you then they should be able to do the same.”
She went completely still. Pain jolted through her chest as if someone had stabbed her. Not that she knew what it felt like but it couldn’t be worse than this.
He forgave her.
For something she’d never done. For something he refused to believe she hadn’t done.
It took all the strength she possessed not to react, not to lash out. He hadn’t said it to hurt her. but he couldn’t possibly imagine how much she was bleeding inside right now.
He was trying to do the generous thing. He was trying to make her feel at ease.
He kissed her gently on the brow. “We both made mistakes. I’m not blameless. The important thing is that we never let what happened in the past happen again.”
Numbly she nodded. She didn’t trust herself to speak. What could she say?
She closed her eyes and leaned into him. He hugged her to him and rubbed his hand up and down her back. He offered comfort. He thought she was worked up about tonight. How could he possibly know that his “forgiveness” made her want to die?
He eased her to the side until she was perched on the edge of the bed and then he stood and walked into the closet. After a moment, he returned with a gorgeous, midnight-blue dress. He held it up and smiled.
“This one would look fantastic on you.”
She struggled to collect her shattered senses and pretend that nothing was wrong.
“It’s awfully…clingy,” she said. “I’d look eleven months’ pregnant in it.”
“I love your belly,” he said in an ultrasexy voice that sent shivers down her spine. “I love that this shows the world you’re pregnant with my baby. You’ll look gorgeous. Wear it for me.”
There wasn’t a woman alive who could refuse a request like that. She nodded silently, her heart aching all the while.
He laid the dress carefully on the bed and then bent down to kiss her once more.
“I’ll leave you to get ready. The driver will be here for us in an hour.”
She clung to him a little longer than was necessary but he didn’t seem to mind. He touched her cheek as he pulled away and then walked toward the bathroom, loosening his tie as he went.
She stared at the dress. It was a fabulous creation. And it would definitely highlight her pregnancy, something Ryan seemed very keen on.
She closed her eyes. He forgave her. She wanted to weep.
It should be her who had