couldn’t he quit saying dumb shit in front of Zen?
Zen fell on the sofa, dragging Braylin down with him. Braylin’s plan of keeping a respectable distance between them while they talked wasn’t working out so well. The light laughter continued while Zen settled, keeping one arm wrapped protectively around Braylin’s shoulders and swinging his long legs up to prop his feet on the coffee table.
“Don’t be embarrassed, baby. That was my exact thought the second I entered the room. It reeks.”
“Can’t you change rooms? You deserve so much better.”
Yup. He was failing spectacularly at being aloof. Yet, he needed to keep things real. Pretending and playing games had never been his style, and he especially didn’t want to do that with Zen—not when he still hoped their more personal relationship could be salvaged.
“See? I knew you didn’t hate me.”
Zen gazed down at him and Braylin’s stomach tightened, an ache filling him at the thought that Zen might have been as worried about them as Braylin was.
“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I was just surprised when Pete told me…” He might as well own up. No games. “That something went on between you and Sal.”
“Went on, baby. A long, long time ago. It lasted for all of one tour, the last one we did as an opener before we hit the big time.”
Somehow, that didn’t make him feel any better. Maybe road relationships didn’t last once the tour was over.
“Oh. So I guess once you guys got home, you…?”
He wasn’t sure the details were any of his business, but he was dying to know.
“Two things. Sal was not, and never has been, into BDSM. I knew that was going to be an issue, but I was willing to see where things went. However, the real kicker was when Sal decided he was no longer gay once we were home.”
Braylin blinked several times as that morsel of info sunk in. “Not even bisexual?”
Sal had dated some supermodel for several years whose name escaped him. But Braylin had never heard about him being with a guy, let alone Zen. That was part of why he’d been so surprised by Pete’s revelation.
“No. He was adamant that I’d seduced him, had taken advantage of how lonely and horny he’d been on our first long tour. Everyone deals with their sexuality in their own way, so it wasn’t my place to judge when it came to that.” Zen snorted. “I can assure you that I didn’t seduce him. He was accurate in his description of being horny. He practically jumped me after a show one night. If anyone was seducing, it was him. I was a lot younger then and didn’t read the room correctly.”
Zen shook his head. “I’m not gonna lie, it hurt. I suspected it wouldn’t work out in the long run after he expressed disgust over any type of kink. But I cared about the dude, you know? Then, during his years with Serena, he started drinking. I don’t blame her. By all accounts, she wasn’t into anything like that. However, I always wondered if he was struggling with his orientation still, if he was holding on to some inner anger toward me as if I’d somehow turned him gay. Honestly, our friendship never recovered after that, as you can see.”
“Is that why he said all that mean stuff about you at the first show? Like, maybe he’s secretly wanted you all these years but has convinced himself he can never have you because he refuses to come out?”
“I don’t know if I’m full enough of myself to believe he’s been pining for me all these years, but who knows?” Zen shrugged. “It might just be that he’s still filled with rage because I brought out those feelings in him, that our relationship revealed his desire for men.”
“Wow.” Braylin absorbed all that Zen had said. Then shame filled him. Here he’d been all salty over Zen and Sal, when Zen was the one who’d gotten hurt. “I’m sorry. I was an idiot.”
Zen squeezed his shoulder and jostled him. “Remember what I said about talking badly about my boy. I might have to spank you.”
Braylin swallowed hard, his cock twitching in interest. They’d discussed spanking during their afternoon together, and Braylin had to admit he wasn’t opposed to the practice. He was back to sporting a semi.
“So, even though I was being an immature, insecure brat, you still want me to be your boy?”
Zen grinned. “Only if you still want