of tuning each drum, verifying that after everything had been jostled and pushed around since soundcheck, Derek’s set up was still as it should be.
Braylin went through a mental checklist to verify he’d completed each step with perfection and that Sal wouldn’t be upset with him after the show. He smiled at the realization that he’d completed this portion of his job in record time.
Now to see if Sal showed up and if he’d be in any condition to play.
Braylin carefully made his way off stage and spotted Sal next to Zen in the wings. He was about to let out a sigh of relief, then stopped short at the angry expressions on both men’s faces. Braylin ducked his head as he approached them, hoping to slink past unnoticed. He gasped as Sal grabbed his arm.
“Did you triple-check everything? I don’t want any fuck-ups on the first night.”
“Let him go, Sal. Now,” Zen growled.
Sal sneered at Zen then glared daggers at Braylin. “You’d better hope I’m happy.” He turned to Zen. “Just because you have a hard-on for the new meat doesn’t mean he gets to fuck up my gear. Once you’ve discarded him like all the others, I don’t wanna be the one who pays the price.”
Zen crossed his arms, his features a picture of barely contained rage. “Enough,” he said through gritted teeth. “You might be sober right now, but you’re still behaving like an asshole. How about you worry about yourself not fucking up tonight?”
“Whatever, dude,” Sal huffed. “Nothing is ever good enough for you. I haven’t had a drop of booze since the second day of rehearsal and I’m hardly ever late.” He gestured to Braylin with a dismissive wave. “But you get to hire your boy toys onto the crew so you can have free ass while on tour.”
Water filled Braylin’s eyes as the reality of Zen’s flirty behavior slammed into him. While he didn’t fully believe Sal’s words, given his poisonous and hateful nature, there was a ring of truth within them.
I’m so deluded.
Did he honestly believe Zen had some special interest in him, that he was so amazing that a rock god would want anything other than sex—if even that? He was there to do a job. Nothing else. His fan worship was truly done this time. He didn’t begrudge Zen wanting someone to keep him company while on the road, he understood. And he hadn’t heard about Zen having a boyfriend, so why wouldn’t the guy want to mess around to unwind?
But Braylin wasn’t built like that. Especially since he was still a virgin. Some people might want their first time to be with a rock star, but he wasn’t one of them. His first time would be with someone he was in a relationship with. Call him weirdly old-fashioned, but that had been his promise to himself since he was a kid.
While he’d been lost in his thoughts, Sal and Zen had exchanged a few more heated words before Sal he marched off to who knew where. Braylin certainly hadn’t been paying attention.
“Braylin. Look at me.” Zen spoke in a gentle tone, angling his body so that Braylin was corralled against an enormous speaker. “Don’t listen to him. He’s an angry, bitter man with zero compassion.”
Braylin couldn’t meet Zen’s eyes. There was no way. He wasn’t interested in sharing his pathetic hurt with Zen. He could be mature. Professional. What had he been thinking anyway? That Zen was going to fall madly in love or something? He needed to get over himself.
“Yeah, sure.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal. “No problem. I’d better go see if Gordy needs me to do anything else.”
As Zen raised an arm to stop him from leaving, Braylin ducked beneath it and scurried away. Going forward, his strategy would be to avoid being alone with Zen at all costs. He’d make sure to hang out with the crew as much as possible and stay in his room when they traveled. A few errant tears fell, and he swiped them away as he rushed down the backstage hall.
Time to get real.
Chapter Five
Third week of tour: BB&T Pavilion, Camden, NJ.
Zen flopped onto the bed in his suite with a sigh, his feet killing him from the new platform boots he’d worn on stage that night. He wiggled his toes and contemplated whether he had the energy to get up and soak them in hot water. He didn’t, but he’d be damn sorry at the next