like to think about those years, to tell you the truth. It’s in the past now.” I run my finger along my glass, leaving a trace in the condensation. “My mother used to say, back when she still talked to me, that I was an over-attached child. I would cling to her, she said; then I met Hope and I clung to Hope until they moved away. And maybe she was right, because now I cling to Luis, and my children of course, but especially Luis. Luis is the only friend I ever had after Hope, the only friend that is truly mine. I haven’t even seen my mother in years, as she refuses to visit us. I told you she didn’t come to our wedding, didn’t I?”
June nods, biting into a small mushroom.
“This is how horrible she is.” Are my words sounding a little slurred? “Before we got married, she called me. She said not to marry him. Something was ‘wrong’ with him. ‘What do you mean?’ I asked. But I knew what she meant. She saw I was happy. She was going to do it again, try to ruin it for me.” I scoff. “I mean, really? I’m about to get married to the love of my life, and she tells me there’s something wrong with him?” I make air quotes around something. “I laughed at her. I said, ‘Yeah, he loves me, Mother. That’s what’s wrong with him.’ Seriously, that woman will stop at nothing to ruin any chance of happiness for me. It’s like it’s embedded in her DNA. I told her, ‘Honestly, Mother, enough. I’m a grown woman, I can do what I like. Save it.’ She didn’t come to my wedding after that. And then she moved away.”
“Where to?”
“Some small town in California called Clearlake. I’ve emailed her that we’ll come and visit, take the kids on vacation—most grandparents would love that, wouldn’t they? You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But no, not this one.”
“But did you find out what she meant? About Luis?” June asks.
I give her a look. “Please. These were just the games she liked to play. There was nothing wrong with Luis. He loves me and she couldn’t stand that because she’s a sick woman. He is the only person left in my life who truly loves me. Sometimes, in my darkest hour, I believe that I will meet so few people in my life who will truly love me that when I find one, I have to hold on to them with everything I have.”
Eighteen
We’re talking about relationships and I want to know more about Trevor, but June’s not saying much, and I get a sense that she’s still too sad to talk about it.
I lift a greasy finger. “Okay, so final question. How would you describe him, in one word?”
She thinks about it, and smiles. “Funny,” she says. “He was really funny. He used to make me laugh a lot.” I try to ask more but she waves my questions away with a flap of the hand.
“What about Luis, in one word?”
I peel a prawn and sink my teeth into its flesh. “Unfaithful,” I say, sucking on the tail. She gasps and I look up abruptly. It’s like the word escaped from me without my realizing it was even there. I start to laugh, but she’s looking at me, her head tilted, her eyebrows drawn together. I want to say something but I’m stuck, and my eyes start to swim.
“Luis is having an affair?” Her eyes grow wide with understanding, but disbelief also, which makes sense considering I’ve just waxed lyrical about what a great husband and father he is for the last twenty minutes.
Hearing it like that, without adornments, is like having the carpet pulled from under my carefully constructed house of cards. I immediately regret saying anything, but it’s too late.
“It’s fine, June, he’s not having an affair anymore. It’s over.”
“Oh, Anna! How did you find out?”
I tell her about my suspicions, then seeing him with Isabelle, and finally the coup de grâce, finding the texts. Especially the texts.
“How do you know it’s over?”
“I just know.”
“Have you checked his texts again?”
I shake my head. “His cell isn’t always on his bedside table and, to be honest, I feel like I got away with it once, I’m not game to try it again.”
“So, how do you know?”
I tell her what it’s been like, how sweet he’s been. I show her my silver earrings which I happen to be