to pace the tiny space.
‘What is it?’ asked Diana.
‘I’ve done everything wrong,’ hissed Julia, wringing her hands. ‘Everything, and now my family’s falling apart. Maggie and John are gone, and Tom could die in here with me. I should have sent him back to the country, what was I thinking? I should have gone myself. If anything happens to me, Maggie will be alone. When John comes back, he won’t even have his mother.’
‘What do you mean?’ whispered Lizzie.
Julia looked at the girls and sat down. They could tell something lay heavily upon her.
‘I found out that Agnes has been collecting information for the fifth column.’
Both the girls gasped. ‘Agnes?’ said Diana. ‘I would never have thought she had it in her.’
‘All those nights she was going to bingo. Didn’t you notice she was gone more evenings? Well, I think she’s been going to meetings and handling information for them.’
‘I can’t believe it,’ said Lizzie.
‘What’s John going to do when he finds out that his mother has been arrested for working for the enemy?’
‘Arrested?’
‘I have to go to the authorities, don’t I? I mean, it’s the right thing to do, isn’t it? It’ll pull my family apart even further. Maggie won’t remember me. Tom will probably be killed in here, and if not, John will never forgive me. I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.’
Lizzie had never seen Julia so unhinged. She got up and stopped her friend, taking hold of her by the shoulders.
‘Julia, stop. Just stop. You are always trying to hold everything together. It’s all right to let go sometimes. You don’t always have to have all the answers, and you are not responsible for every single thing that has happened to you. Agnes is old enough to make her own decisions. And if John loves you, he won’t care about what his mother’s done. You didn’t make Tom get on the train and come home. You’re not responsible for all of this. You didn’t start this war, Julia. Stop trying to hold all the pieces of your world together.’
Julia’s bottom lip started to tremble, and she burst into tears. ‘I envy you, Lizzie. You wear your heart on your sleeve. I wish I could be more like you. I wish everybody knew how I felt. I just don’t know any other way to be. What will happen when Agnes goes to prison? I feel rotten about that.’
‘Do you have to tell anybody?’ questioned Diana.
‘What do you mean?’ asked Julia.
‘Well, John’s coming home soon. Why don’t you just tell him and then the two of you can make the decision together?’
‘It would break his heart. Besides, I have to do the right thing. The right thing to do would be to tell the authorities.’
‘But if it destroys your family,’ said Lizzie, ‘there must be another way. Because you know what, Julia? Sometimes doing the right thing isn’t the right thing to do. And I’m not saying you don’t report this. I just think you need to take a step back, just see what happens. And trust. You don’t always have to be the one putting the whole world right.’
Julia collapsed into Lizzie’s arms and started to sob. She sat her down on the bed.
Once she’d had a good cry, they sat in the quiet.
All at once, Diana spoke. ‘Len proposed, you know.’
They both turned to look at her.
‘What?’
‘Len proposed, asked me to marry him over a month ago.’
‘Oh, Diana, that’s wonderful. You did say yes?’ enquired Lizzie.
‘Kind of, it all happened so quickly and I wouldn’t set a date, I have been putting it off. I didn’t think it was fair on you, Lizzie, with all you’re going through, and I’m worried about my mum and dad. Len wanted to get married right away in a register office and it would destroy my dad. He always wanted to walk me down the aisle in a church. And the ones that aren’t damaged have a long waiting list. I was so conflicted, and if I die in here, Len will never know how much I love him.’
Diana started to cry.
Lizzie turned her friend to face her and took her by the shoulders.
‘Listen to me, Diana. I don’t know about your family but I don’t ever want you to hold back embracing your happiness for one single day because of me. I want you to go and grab it with both hands and hold on to it. Because I never got to spend even one