carefully placed the needle on the glossy shellac disc. And as the orchestra started up, she got to her feet, and slipped into his arms. Al Bowlly’s melodic tones crooned out into the damp, crisp morning, singing about how he was living in a daydream and that the love of his life made him forget all about the ordinary, everyday things.
Lizzie circled Jack’s waist with her arms, placed her head on his shoulder and they swayed gently as she absorbed all the words.
As they moved rhythmically together, the song summed up so much of how she was feeling, how her love for Jack made her forget everything else in her life, especially the sadness she had known because of his tenderness and now his complete acceptance of her. She wasn’t sure if the intensity and finality of war contributed to the immense gratitude she was feeling, but as they circled the blanket in the middle of the park in the middle of winter, with swans as their audience, she felt nothing could rob her of her happiness.
As she closed her eyes to enjoy it, it was as if they became one. Lizzie wasn’t sure where he ended and she began, and it was as though she could sense exactly what he was feeling and thinking. Nothing about this felt like it had with Fergus; that had felt so immature compared to this. This was so much deeper. And as her cheeks reddened, her mind drifted to what it would be like once they were married and they could be closer than they were now. She imagined him slowly undressing her in the moonlight and she unbuttoning and pulling off his clothes. Then she would draw him closer, feeling his smooth warm skin next to hers as they indulged in long lingering kisses until they were both breathless. She would run her hands through his thick dark hair and make him shiver as she danced her fingertips up and down his back. They would take their time to find what gave each other the most pleasure. Until, unable to bear their desire any longer, they would finally become one in body as well as spirit. Lizzie just knew without being told that nothing about what she had experienced in the past with Fergus would compare to what it would be like with Jack. This was already so different. The feeling she had for him so much stronger, the desire to be closer unbearable and she couldn’t wait until they could take that desire further.
He must have sensed something because he looked at her. ‘You look flushed. Are you getting warm now?’
She nodded, not wanting to let him into her intimate thoughts.
‘I was just wondering about us actually, and wondering if you loved me as much as I love you.’
He stopped dancing and stared at her and for once, gone was the playful expression in his eyes. It was replaced by an intense gaze fixed upon her as he searched her face.
He ran a finger down the side of her cheek, his eyes following its journey. ‘I love you, Lizzie, more than I will ever be able to show you,’ he whispered, his emotion visible. ‘I’ve been in love with you since the very first night when we sat huddled together in the basement of a theatre. There was something so right about us, something that just fitted, that was easy, that was destined to be. I couldn’t explain it then and I can’t explain it now. I could have proposed to you that very first night but I didn’t want to frighten you off. Scotland’s an awfully big place to try and find you if you ran away, and I sensed there was some reason you were holding back and now I know what it was. Your daughter. As you told me about her I felt the shift. Just now, I’ve felt that last bit of distance between us fall away. As if you finally feel safe enough to get close to me.
‘Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night with the realization I may never see you again, because of the danger, and I feel this panic come over me. I want us to be married so the next time I wake like that I will be able to reach out and feel you next to me. Once I am in the plane I have to push these kind of thoughts away, because if I thought of the loss