time. He spoke about you this morning as we were leaving and how he felt he was the luckiest man alive.’
The world ‘alive’ hung in the air like a stone.
Alan’s voice started to crack. ‘I’m so, so sorry, but I wanted you to know how much he loved you. He was the bravest and kindest man I’ve ever served with, and I’ll miss him too.’
Alan, evidently not wanting to be emotional in front of her, squeezed her hand, got up quickly, replaced his cap, and left the house.
Lizzie started to become light-headed as her friends helped her upstairs, as she sobbed into Diana’s arms. Julia closed the curtains, and helped her undress and get into bed. Lizzie didn’t sleep. She just lay there, numbly looking at the ceiling, trying to let it sink in. Pain and grief washed over her, and she felt irreversibly broken, as if there was nothing that could fix this; only the arms of the man she loved that would never hold her again, and the pain of that realization was just too much for her to bear.
40
Diana had returned to base that night and after hardly any sleep and not wanting to go to the canteen she had been trying to prepare breakfast the next morning in the little kitchenette, when the door had opened. Thinking it was just one of the girls she didn’t look up when all at once arms were around her waist. She started with the shock but when she turned Len was in front of her.
‘Diana, I just heard. I’m so sorry about Jack. Lizzie must be beside herself.’
Diana burst into tears. She had been holding back her feelings to be strong for Lizzie but now as Len folded her into his arms she allowed the emotion just under the surface to pour forth like a flood.
As she sobbed on his shoulder, he rocked her gently and stroked her hair, and it felt so good to be close to him. This was the first time he had been really demonstrative with her and once again she wondered if he was just being kind in that moment or if this was something more for him.
Once she’d had a good cry, she sat blowing her nose at the table as he made her a cup of tea. As he placed a mug in front of her the whole story of what had happened and the agony of the wait they’d had the night before poured out of her and she noticed how he listened so attentively, saying just the right thing to make her feel better. This was the first time she had been with him when he hadn’t been joking or being light and she saw something in his eyes – a real concern and care for her. And she started to believe that maybe he did consider her more than just as a friend.
He had sat with her until she needed to be on duty and then kissing her on the cheek had squeezed her hand before he went off to his own side of the base. It had been a nice moment and she had been grateful for his friendship.
After he left, Diana had slowly prepared to go on duty with the balloon, when the sirens went off. She was making her way to the truck with her team when suddenly the whistle of the bombs overhead seemed really close. Before they could even get into a shelter, the attack was upon them, a bomb dropping really close by. Throwing herself to the ground and crawling towards a wall, she pressed herself against it and covered her head with her hands while she scrabbled for her tin helmet and thrust it on her head. Though the bomb had dropped nearby, it had missed the building they were in.
‘That was bloody close,’ said Kathy as they all sat slammed against the wall, breathing a sigh of relief, and then suddenly Diana looked up, and her blood ran cold.
The bomb had hit one of the other barracks, and with a sinking heart, she knew which one. Len’s barracks had taken a direct hit; she could see it on fire from here. He had not long gone back. Could he still be over there?
‘Len!’ she screamed out and jumped to her feet, then she started to run towards where the fire was leaping into the air. Please don’t let him be in there, God. Not after Jack. Could fate be that cruel