I read Laura’s instructions, chuckling at words like “demand feeding” and “self settling”. I glance up at Connor. “Did you understand any of this?”
He shakes his head. “Not a fucking word.” He casts me a baleful look. “Please tell me you understand what the hell she’s talking about.”
My mouth quirks up in an affectionate smile. “I do. Although are you sure it wouldn’t be better to call on your sisters like you told her? Or your mom—she’s got to be the most experienced person you know.”
He shakes his head. “Mom and Da are on their way back from Europe right now, and the second they get here they’re going to want to spend time with Cait and the baby. And like I said, Alannah just started a new job. And Bridie’s over on Staten Island. And…” he thrusts a hand into his hair, his eyes full of apprehension and vulnerability. “Well, I’m not exactly ready to tell everyone about this yet.”
“Are you sure?” I ask gently. “They’re your family.”
“Don’t you talk—you hid a cancer diagnosis from your family.”
I shrug. “Fair point.”
As we start moving toward the other side of the store, Chase wakes and begins fussing in his stroller. Connor leans down to peer at him, but that seems to just make him cry more.
Rearing back with alarm, Connor says, “Oh my god. He’s scared of me!”
“He just doesn’t know you very well yet,” I assure him. Why don’t you pick him up? He’s been in that stroller for a while, and holding him will be a good way for you guys to bond.”
Connor gives a firm nod, his jaw set tight with determination as he reaches into the stroller and unfastens the restraints before hauling Chase out and into his arms.
Chase continues to fuss for a minute, but then he settles against Connor’s chest, nestling against him like a koala. And I’m left kind of regretting suggesting Connor pick Chase up, because Connor on any normal day is pretty damn sexy, but Connor with his baby son in his arms? Damn near irresitable.
I give a sharp shake of my head and manage to tear my gaze away, getting back to the mission at hand.
“Okay, so we need to get diapers. There are some in here, but like I said, you can never have enough. And we should get some more formula as well—there’s only enough in here for three more bottles.” I bend down to replace the diaper bag in the little compartment at the bottom of the stroller. “And it might be a good idea to get some more bottles as well. And a sterilizer. You can keep all that stuff at your place.”
Connor nods. “Okay. And I want to get one of those carriers so he can cuddle up against me like this but I can have my hands free.” Great, because he’s not already sexy enough… “And then I can be like one of those hot dads walking in the park with their kid strapped to their chest and their dog on a lead.”
I send Connor a curious look. “You have a dog?”
He shakes his head. “Nope. But those are just details, babe.”
We continue making our way through the store, tossing various items in the cart.
“What about this?” Connor asks, picking a box off the shelf.
“No, you won’t need that,” I tell him, barely able to contain my laughter.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s a breast pump.”
With a sheepish glance around, as though to check no one saw him, Connor replaces the box where he found it.
“Oh, god, what’s that smell?” he demands, his face screwed up in disgust.
I lean over to sniff at Chase, confirming what I already suspected. “That’s your son—he needs his diaper changed.”
“That’s what it smells like?”
I chuckle. “That’s not even the worst of it. Wait until he starts eating actual food.” I glance around the store and see the sign for the parents’ room toward the back. “Come on, we can change him over there.”
Once we get to the parents’ room, we park the cart and the stroller and I tug the diaper bag out while Connor sets Chase on a changing table.
“What do I do?” Connor asks.
“Just hold him there for a second while I get everything out.” Digging through the bag, I withdraw a clean diaper, a pack of wipes and a pack of diaper waste bags. “Okay, just hold him so he doesn’t wriggle around too much,” I tell Connor. “You can watch what I do this time and then next