brushed down her stomach and pushed inside her panties.
"Fuck," I groan, my cock swelling.
She was so tight, so fucking tight and hot as she greedily sucked my fingers into her pussy. But that was nothing compared to when I pushed the tip of my cock to her entrance.
"Fuck," I bellow, my already busted up fists landing on the marble tiles before me, pain shooting down my arm right to my shoulder.
Why couldn't I do it? We were right there. All I had to do was sink inside her. Instead, I'm the pussy who only got the fucking tip in.
I'm a fucking embarrassment to mankind.
My cries echo around the bathroom as I rain fury down on the wall. My blood coats the tiles, but I don't stop. I can't. I need it so fucking bad.
Tears stream down my cheeks, but they're washed away, along with the blood that turns the water pink.
"Conner, you okay, bro?" Cole shouts through.
Angrily, I wipe at my cheeks, ashamed that I've allowed myself to fall to this level of desperation.
"Y-yeah. I'm good."
"You sure?"
"Yeah." Just trying to work through my shit via my fists, not my cock.
Why can't I fuck this anger out of my system just like everyone else does? I should be able to lose myself in my girl and forget about all this bullshit.
I have no idea how long I'm in that shower, but I assume that Cole's fucked off because he doesn't say anything else.
I wipe away the evidence of my meltdown and step out, wrapping a towel around my waist and gathering my clothes in my arms, ready to toss them in the garbage because I already know that amount of blood isn't coming out of them.
The hallway is quiet when I pull the door open, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I step out and find no one waiting for me.
I'm amazed Cole believed me, even I could hear the pain in my voice when I responded to him.
I soon realize I'm right when I step inside my room and find Hadley sitting on the edge of my bed with a concerned expression on her face.
"Hey," I say sadly, dropping the bundle of clothes behind me in the hope she doesn't see the blood.
"Hey. Cole wanted to kick the bathroom door in. I managed to talk him out of it. He's gone down to the gym."
"Great," I mutter, walking to the window and turning my back on her.
"We're worried about you, Con." Unable to keep the distance between us, she walks over and stands beside me.
"You don't need to be. I'm fine."
"Conner," she says on a sigh, and I immediately know that I'm not getting out of this.
Her fingers brush my hand until they twist with mine and grip tightly. She turns so she's facing me and rests her ass on the windowsill.
"We care too much to let you deal with this alone."
"Cole told you." It's not a question. I can see the answer in her eyes.
She winces. "Yeah."
"Well, great. Don't tell me Ace and Remi know too."
"No, Con. We wouldn't betray you like that. Cole's just worried. Wanted my advice."
"Well, go on then. I'm waiting."
I keep my eyes locked out the window, unable to look at her while she discusses my issue.
"Honestly, I don't really have any, other than you need to take the pressure off yourself. None of this is meant to be easy to deal with. If we all just got on with shit like everything is normal while our lives fall apart, then we wouldn't be human."
"You do."
"Really? Conner, you saw me at my lowest. Cole too. You know for a fact that we didn't handle shit well."
"So what are you suggesting?" My eyes come to hers, narrowing in desperation. I need someone to give me the answers right now. I need someone to fix this. I need to stop hurting Kenny like this.
"Just take every day as it comes. Kenny loves you. She'll stand beside you while you work all this out."
"And if she doesn't?" I ask, hating the vulnerability that creeps into my voice. I'm well aware that while I've told her over and over again that I love her, she's not once said it back. Sure, I see it, or at least I think I do, in her eyes. But I need more.
"Her loyalty isn't in question here, Conner. You're it for her. Just give yourself time and trust her to know what she wants, what she needs. She won't let you