of her slowly-breaking heart that they could let things play out, fall deeper in love, without any questions of the future looming over them.
Without needing answers, or plans, or a solid foundation beneath her feet.
But every time she tried to imagine that future casually unfolding, it didn’t fill her with hope or excitement. No, it filled her with fear. Fear that small town life wouldn’t be enough for him. Fear that his ambition would win. Sooner or later, Aidan would get an offer back in the city that he just couldn’t refuse.
And then he’d be gone, and it wouldn’t just be her heart he’d be breaking.
It would be Matty’s, too. And she would never let that happen.
“I can’t,” she said simply. “I can’t take that risk. I’m sorry, but if you aren’t certain what you want from me…” She stopped. She couldn’t even say the words, but they hung in the air between them all the same.
“So that’s it?” Aidan said slowly. He stared at her, disbelieving. “It’s just over between us, just like that?”
Stella turned to fuss with some dishes. She couldn’t keep looking at him, not when he was so handsomely disheveled; not when her body still ached to be holding him. In his arms, where she belonged.
“Were you ever going to give us a shot?”
His question came, cutting through the silence with an accusing edge. She turned, confused. “What do you mean?”
“You. Me. Us.” Aidan crossed his arms, defensive. “Maybe there’s a reason you’ve never found anyone to share your life with. Maybe it’s not because they didn’t want to, but because you never let them come close.”
Stella inhaled in a rush. “That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?” Aidan demanded. “Because you’re finding a reason to push me away right now, and call time on this whole thing before we’ve even gotten started. It’s way too soon to be talking like this!”
“For you, maybe,” Stella said bitterly. “But you never have to think about consequences, do you? At least, not until it’s too late.”
Aidan flinched, and she felt another pang of guilt. Dammit.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she said quickly, but his expression was already stormy.
“Why not? You’re right. I screwed things up in my career by following my instincts without thinking it through, so why can’t I take my time here, and figure out what’s right?”
“Because you should know already!” Stella burst out, her voice echoing in the empty kitchen. “I do. I know that I want to wake up beside you, and go to sleep in your arms at night. I know I want to bicker over the last pancake, and be a family together, and love you without holding back. But you can’t commit to next week, let alone a future together,” she said, her heart breaking, right there in her chest. “And I can’t just stumble on, hoping you’ll choose us in the end, but spending every day scared that you won’t.”
“You don’t have to do this,” Aidan said, raking a hand through his hair. “You’re letting your fears get in the way of something amazing. If you just gave us a chance…”
But she couldn’t. Even the chance of heartbreak was more than she was willing to take. She should have known it was too much to hope for, that she could have her heart’s desire.
She should have learned by now, the only person she could depend on was herself.
“Stella…” Aidan said again, but she couldn’t keep it together for much longer.
“Please, just go,” she begged, sounding stronger than she felt. “Thank you for bringing Matty home tonight,” she added, achingly polite. “But please, just go.”
“Is that what you really want?” Aidan demanded, his face stormy.
“Yes,” she lied, hating herself for the disappointment in his eyes. Hating that she was telling him to go, when all she wanted was to hold him close. Laugh, the way only he knew how. Watch the fire burn lower, warm with the possibilities of what tomorrow could bring.
But those possibilities were gone, she’d made sure of that. And Aidan was standing there like a stranger, back to the cold, remote man he’d used to be.
Like she’d never broken down those walls, to see the kindhearted, passionate man beneath. Like the past couple of months had never happened at all.
He gave her a sharp nod. “Tell Matty… Tell him he’s welcome to come see the boat anytime.”
Regret and misery crashed through her, but there was no taking it back now. She could only watch as Aidan turned around, and