family. To take care of everyone. And even after he got better, that feeling never went away.” Aidan looked tense, like he was wrestling with something deep inside. “I’ve spent half my life looking out for them. Making money, driving to succeed. Every choice I’ve made has been so I can take care of them, never mind what…”
He trailed off before he could finish that sentence, and then shook his head. “I’m just saying, don’t put Matty in that same position. Don’t make him feel like he has to compromise to keep you happy.”
Stella felt a flicker of something uncomfortable. Something almost like guilt.
What if he was right?
But she pushed the thought aside. “Are you saying this is my fault?” she demanded.
“No, but—”
“Whatever you do with your life is your choice,” she continued fiercely, “but Matty is still just a kid. My kid. So, thank you for everything you’ve done tonight, but this isn’t your problem to solve.”
“What if I want it to be?” Aidan said stubbornly. “If we’re going to have a future together, then Matty is a part of that.”
Stella blinked. A future…?
Her heart leapt. “What are you saying?” she asked, suddenly breathless. Did this mean what she thought it did? Had he realized he wanted this to be real?
But instead of telling her the words she’d been longing to hear, Aidan paused. “I…” he said, then stopped again. He glanced away. “I… don’t know.”
Her hopes sank. It was just like their conversation earlier that night, but this time, Stella couldn’t take the indecision anymore. “You don’t know?” she repeated, adrenaline still hot in her veins. “You don’t know anything, do you? You don’t if you’re sticking around, you don’t know if you’re going to take that job. You don’t even know if you want to make a life with me or not!”
“That’s not true,” Aidan tried to protest, but Stella was seeing things clearly now. Clearer than she’d let herself believe. Maybe it had been their passion, blinding her to the facts for so long, but standing there in her kitchen, surrounded by the bright clutter and safety she’d worked so hard to build, Stella realized the truth with a desperate ache.
He still didn’t have a clue what he wanted – and that uncertainty could bring her whole world crashing down. She’d crafted her life to be safe and stable, but if she fell any harder, if she let herself love him the way her heart already yearned to do, if she let Matty get attached…
Tonight had been a wakeup call, about just how precious and fragile her safe little world really was. Was she really willing to risk all of that, when Aidan still couldn’t even make up his own mind?
Stella took a deep breath. “If you’ve got things figured out, then tell me, what happens when you finish fixing up your grandpa’s boat, Aidan?” she asked him slowly, her chest constricting with every word.
He didn’t reply.
“Will you be here to sail it in the spring?” Stella continued, taking a step towards him. “Are you going to take Matty out on the water, and teach him how to fish? Are you going to find a job here, and a place to stay for longer than a couple of months?” she demanded. “Are you really going to turn your back on everything you’ve done for the past twenty years of your life – not just the money, but the buzz? The admiration? The VIP tickets, and front-row seats?”
“I can’t tell you that just yet!” Aidan exclaimed, looking frustrated. “But I know that I’m falling in love with you. Isn’t that enough?”
Love.
Stella felt a wave of sadness. She should be happy to hear those words. Giddy, and overjoyed. But instead…
She felt more alone than ever.
“No, it’s not enough,” she said, her heart aching. She stood there, looking at him. The man who’d turned her world upside down and made her believe in something she’d never quite believed in before.
But this wasn’t a fairy-tale, and happy endings didn’t just magically appear if she wished for them hard enough.
“I’m not sixteen anymore,” she said, feeling hollow. “I can’t just close my eyes and jump, to hell with the consequences.” Stella gave a bitter laugh. “My life is a testament to the fact that there are always consequences.”
“Can’t we just see how this goes?” Aidan asked urgently, moving closer. “Do we have to have everything figured out right now?”
Stella swallowed hard. She wished she could. God, she wished it with all