will fuck this up,” I say again. “But only if she’s not a hundred percent on our side.”
“That’ll take more than a half-assed apology to—”
“Which is why you’re going to make it count.”
Cass’s scowl pins me. “She won’t let me near her, you know that.”
“I also know how persuasive you can be.”
I’d meant it as a compliment, but for some reason it just makes more angry spots flare up on his cheeks.
We sit for a few seconds smoking our cigarettes, silent, brooding, waiting each other out.
“What’s so fucking special about her anyway?” he asks.
Did I hear that right?
I get up and crouch beside him to kill my cigarette in the cup by his couch. When I look up, his iridescent blue eyes glue me to the spot.
I wasn’t just blowing hot air up his ass. When he wants something—really, really wants something—it’s as if the Universe aligns to give it to him.
Even if it’s just an answer to a question I’d rather not give.
“I never said she was.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“You’re delusional.” I start to stand, but Cass grabs my arm, and not gently either. His fingernails bite into my flesh as he tugs me closer.
“What happens when you have to choose between her or us?”
A hard frown creases my brow. “That’s never going to happen.”
Cass’s expression clears. He releases me. “Yeah, let’s hope it doesn’t,” he says as he gets to his feet. I stand too, and he pushes past me to get to the door. “Because it looks like you’ve already made your choice.”
“Cass.”
He slips out the curtain.
“Cass!”
I could have gone after him, but then I’d seem desperate. Falling onto the couch, I sit stroking a thumb over the marks his fingernails left in my arm as I let the latent warmth from his body soak into mine.
He’s full of shit, but that’s nothing new. Of the three of us, his walls are the tallest and the strongest. No one’s ever broken through them. He doesn’t let his guard down for anyone, not even his brothers. But that wasn’t a requirement for joining this war. Every war needs soldiers, and those soldiers need ammunition.
Rage.
Hate.
Vengeance.
In this case, we each had to bring our own. But me and Rube and Apollo? We’re weak, flickering candles compared to Cass.
He’s the motherfucking sun.
Chapter Twenty-One
Trinity
After breakfast, I spend a few hours at the tiny desk in our room catching up on my homework. Jasper is there for a while, reading a book, and then he disappears without a word. I decide to close the bedroom door behind him, just in case someone—Cass—decides to pop in for an unannounced visit.
I wish more and more every day that I had a damn key.
A few minutes before the lunch bell gongs, I hear a soft sound by the door. I whip my head around to stare at the folded paper someone pushed under the door.
The hair on the back of my neck stands up as I wait, but thankfully the door stays closed.
When my heartbeat goes back to normal, I stand and fetch the note.
SHOWER?
The words all are in capitals, stiff and boxy.
Reuben.
He’s letting me use his bathroom again. Which is so sweet, especially with tonight’s dinner in mind. I guess now would be the perfect time to go—everyone else would be in the dining hall, eating. If I hurried, I might still make lunch once I was done, but I’d happily trade a meal for a private shower.
Plus, I’d get to see Reuben again.
The prospect does strange things to my tummy and I have to push away the thought so I can figure out what I’ll be wearing to dinner tonight.
I knock quietly on Reuben’s door. Why does no one except Father Gabriel answer their doors in this place? After a third knock I try the handle, eager to get out of the hall before someone spots me.
The handle turns.
The door opens.
I let out a relieved sigh when it opens and quickly slip inside. The apartment isn’t massive, but the minimalistic decor makes it seem pretty spacious. How do students get apartments like these? What does Cass’s room look like? Zachary’s? Apollo’s?
“Hello?”
No answer.
I head for the bathroom and then hesitate. Is it weird that Reuben’s not here? Maybe he’s sleeping. Or studying with headphones on.
“Hello?” I push open his bedroom door and step inside, biting the inside of my lip. I should be in the shower already but damn it I’m too fucking nosy. I know so little about Reuben that I can’t bear to