he would have done terrible things to her, would have forced her into another cage, keeping her drugged so she would serve him. So they could be together.
If she had unleashed her power.
She hadn’t even paused to see if she had left any black on his face, so she couldn’t be sure whether she had hurt him or not. His roars could be of rage and the pain she had caused when she had broken his nose and his balls.
She sprinted through the cavern and into the tunnel that would take her back outside into the valley, her legs tiring now. She couldn’t slow. If she hadn’t delivered a death touch to the male, he would be coming after her.
Gods, she had been a fool.
She had refused to trust Thanatos, had kept him at a distance for days until he had earned it, but she had trusted the Messenger right away and look where it had gotten her. She had been reckless again when she had sworn she wouldn’t be.
Calindria paused at the mouth of the tunnel and braced her hands against her knees, her senses and the connection she had with the earth telling her that the Messenger wasn’t following.
She had killed him.
She peered back over her shoulder, part of her still feeling bad about that even when he had deserved it. It struck her that Thanatos was right about her. There was still light within her, a shadow of the girl she had been. That gentle, caring female still existed inside her, concealed beneath the layers of darkness, and no matter what she did, she would never be able to kill it. She would never be able to harden her heart enough that it didn’t hurt whenever she harmed another.
On a heavy sigh, she started across the valley, sticking to the cover of the dead trees and stretching her senses out around her, cataloguing everything. There were creatures in the valley, in contact with the ground, but they didn’t feel malevolent, not as the Keres had. She steered well clear of them though, heading for the tunnel that would take her back to the crystal cavern where she had last been with Thanatos.
Once there, she would figure out what to do.
It didn’t take long to reach the cavern and she sank before the still-burning fire, stared at the charred meat suspended above it as she struggled to catch her breath. Thanatos hadn’t returned and she couldn’t sense him nearby. Where had he gone?
Had he really left?
She would deserve it if he had.
She wanted to pull her knees up to her chest and sit there staring at the blue fire, but she denied that urge. If she stayed here, Thanatos would only be getting further and further from her. She had to go after him. He knew the way out of this realm and she was sure he was heading in that direction. If she could catch up with him and tell him what had happened, and ask for his help, maybe the sense of loyalty she knew he had would kick in and he would lead her home. She didn’t care if he was angry with her the whole time they were travelling.
She just wanted to get out of this wretched place.
Calindria forced herself to stand and walked to the pool, stilled as her gaze caught on something. One of Thanatos’s daggers. The one she had taken from his vambrace and used to fend off the Keres. She diverted course and went to it, stooped and picked it up, and weighed it as she stared at it. Maybe returning it would go some way towards convincing Thanatos to help her.
By help, she meant forgive.
He had asked for her forgiveness and she had denied him though.
If he denied her, then she would deserve it too.
But deep in her heart she knew he was better than that. Deep in her heart she knew that he would never turn his back on her.
Because she wasn’t the only one falling in love.
That look that had been in his eyes when he had come around with his head on her knees had been happiness, but it had been happiness born of a deeper feeling. Love. She didn’t need to break down his barriers. She had already slipped through the cracks in his defences and claimed his heart. She was sure of it now.
Calindria picked up her waterskin and filled it, and then scooped some water into her mouth too, swallowed it down and