still lying on the ground. I picked myself up carefully, afraid I’d lose my intestines. But there was no pain, and when I looked, my belly was unscathed.
The only surprise was that the rock was still there, although it no longer hung in a net around my neck. It was clutched in my hand, everything now clean of my blood.
‘Jane,’ came a voice from behind me – one carved into my memory. I turned immediately to one of the only people I’d obey without hesitation.
My mother looked exactly as I remembered her – long black hair swirling down over her curvy body, encased in a white robe. The robe was a nice touch.
‘Is it really you?’ I asked, strangely calm, considering. Ever since I’d woken up in the white light, I’d felt … not a lot, to be honest. My thoughts would occasionally coalesce enough for me to remember I should be panicked or upset, but then such thoughts would scatter like dandelion seeds in a strong wind.
‘Yes, and no,’ my mother said, smiling kindly. ‘I am a part now of everything.’
I knew we were getting into some serious eschatological issues.
‘Um, are you the universe?’
‘I am everything,’ she repeated.
I took that as a ‘yes’.
‘What you did was brave,’ she continued. ‘You took a great evil into yourself. We thank you.’
I looked down at the golden stone, so beautiful now. It was hard to believe something so glistening could hide such evil, but I’m sure I wasn’t the first person to have thought something similar.
‘Is that it, then? The Red and the White are dead?’
‘Yes. They are contained, and permanently, because of your sacrifice.’
I blinked at the mention of ‘sacrifice’. A vision of Anyan swam before me, and I felt grief for the first time since waking.
‘You mourn,’ said the figure that looked like my mother. ‘You must cross over, and forget.’
I looked up, suddenly blinking back tears. I didn’t want to forget.
But I’m dead, I realized. That’s what I’d done. I’d killed myself, which meant I was dead. And there was no going back this time.
Mutely, I held out my hand. I couldn’t do this alone, too. My mother’s hand met mine, just as it used to. Only mine was bigger now – an almost mirror image of the one it clutched.
‘Come, Jane,’ she said, her shining black eyes so content, so at peace. We took a step forward, then another, and the air began to shimmer in front of us, coalescing into…
A giant yellow eye, slit like a goat’s.
‘Stop!’ boomed the creature’s voice in the white space. It wasn’t in my mind this time, but everywhere.
The form of my mother cocked her head to one side, as curious as me. Before either of us could ask what was happening, the creature spoke again.
‘You will go no further, Jane. Your task is done.’
‘Um,’ I said, ‘I’m dead. As you knew I would be from the moment you chose me.’ My voice crackled with bitterness as fury swept up inside me. Suddenly, I could feel, and all I felt was anger.
‘We knew you’d be brave enough to make this choice, yes,’ the creature said calmly. ‘And someone had to.’
A thousand furious rejoinders flashed through my mind, but before I could say any of them, my anger faltered and died. What it said was true. Someone had to destroy the Red and the White – why not me?
‘But I didn’t want to die,’ I said weakly. My mother’s hand squeezed mine and the eye blinked.
‘And that’s why you were perfect,’ the creature said sadly. ‘You were a true sacrifice, the oldest magic there is. Your ancients knew this to be true, as did those you worship as gods.’
‘And Aslan,’ I mumbled, a bit awed by this conversation.
‘Your death was powerful,’ my mother said, confirming the creature’s words, ‘and its power was great because you were full of so much life, so much love.’
‘That’s fucked up,’ I pointed out. Then I asked the questions that had been lurking in the back of my mind since I’d realized what I had to do. ‘Was any of it yours? The power? The scheme?’
The creature paused. ‘My power was mine, yes. But the champion’s power … that was the universe’s.’
‘So it was the one that chose me?’
‘With my aid, yes.’
‘So were you really running out of power?’
‘No. You had to experience certain things for yourself, and have the time to process them. I would use my power to speed things along when it was appropriate, but