and Thaddeus. How much you mean to me.”
He wished he could vault out of the carriage so he wouldn’t succumb to all the emotion swamping him. And yet he still wanted to hear more.
“I wouldn’t have survived without Sebastian and Thaddeus,” he said in a gruff voice. “I was so hurt, and they let me just be with them, not having to talk about it.”
“Do you want to talk about it now?” she interrupted.
He took a deep breath. “Yes.” His answer was surprising even to himself.
“Tell me,” she urged.
Ana Maria’s chest tightened as she listened to Nash pouring his heart out—about his father’s violence toward his mother, toward him. About his mother’s eventual escape, her sobbing as she left her only son behind.
“Do you know where she is?” she asked. She squeezed his hand, which she’d somehow taken hold of during his recitation.
He nodded his head slowly. “I do. I didn’t dare before, but I think I should at least make sure she is safe.”
“Always the protector,” she said with a smile.
“I used to resent her, especially right after she left.”
“Of course, you were so young, you couldn’t understand.” And Ana Maria didn’t know what decision she’d make in that situation—to stay and face more brutality, but be with your only child? Or run, knowing you might never see your child again?
Her heart hurt for Nash’s mother.
“So have you contacted her yet?” She held her breath for his answer.
He shook his head. “No. I should—I think about it. I just don’t know what I would do if I discovered she was—she was unhappy, or worse.”
She turned to look at him. His face—usually set in resolution—was so vulnerable she wanted to cry.
“You should. I’ll be there no matter what you find out.”
“And what if I can’t help her?”
She gave him a disbelieving look. “You’re a duke, Nash. You can use all that power and privilege to get anything done, if you want to. Don’t you have some smart siblings lying around your house who could assist you?”
He winced. “You know about that?”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course I do. Servants talk, remember? And until six months ago, I was a servant. They all know who your employees are. It’s hardly a secret belowstairs.”
“It was the least I could do, given my father’s . . . proclivities.”
“And I admire you for it.”
He gave a slight nod, as though reluctant to accept praise. The usual Nash. “It was Robert, my secretary, who found her.” He paused. “And when he told me, I wanted to hit him. I didn’t. I didn’t even break the vase I grabbed.” He shook his head. “But it was close.”
Ana Maria gasped. “That must have been frightening,” she replied.
He opened his mouth to contradict her, then realized she was correct. It was frightening. It was a feeling he didn’t want to have anymore—that loss of control, that worry he would do something like his father.
But he hadn’t done anything, had he, even though his temper had risen? He’d put the vase back, which would not have happened before—just ask the chair he’d destroyed when his grandmother arrived.
“But I didn’t,” he continued slowly. “I’ve been thinking about what you’ve been saying. About choice. About deciding how you want to present yourself to the world.”
“So you’ll be wearing pink and silver gowns?” She accompanied her words with a soft smile.
He chuckled as he shook his head.
“Are you going to contact her?” she asked in a gentle tone.
He nodded. “I am.” Even though that terrifies me, too. But he could not continue avoiding the things that might bring him joy or pain.
“I will be there to support you.”
He reached over to take her other hand. “Thank you.”
They sat in silence, holding both of the other’s hands, until they pulled up at the docks.
“You never did say why you need so much fabric,” he said, standing beside her in the ship’s hold.
The Lees were also there, going through boxes of their shipments, pulling out bolts they thought would be of interest to Ana Maria. She liked how they worked together—neither speaking much, just working efficiently side by side. It seemed like an ideal partnership, although of course she imagined there were hiccups along the way. It couldn’t have been easy for either one of them to be married to the other, much less run a business together.
And yet here they were, clearly doing well enough to order in quantity, enough so that a curious young lady with a penchant for bright colors could