they won’t know we’re here if we’re quiet.”
She made a huff of annoyance, as if to say she knew that, but of course she couldn’t say it aloud for fear of discovery.
He chuckled against her skin. Lowering his mouth, he placed his lips on her shoulder and kissed it softly. He carefully withdrew his hand from her gown, smoothing the fabric, then placed his palm—still tingling from where he had touched her—onto the back of her neck, trailing kisses from her shoulder to her neck to her ear.
Her head was thrown back, and she was arching her back, thrusting her breasts into his chest.
“I think I like when we argue,” he murmured, his lips brushing her ear.
She shuddered, and he felt the movement throughout his entire body.
“I like it, too,” she whispered back. “And I cannot wait to get to actually fight you again. Preferably without Finan in the room.” Her words were a dark promise.
He wanted her. The problem was, of course, that he wanted her. Which meant he could not and should not have her.
“What?” she said.
He drew back, his eyebrows narrowed into a frown. “What what?”
“You changed. Just now. You thought of something.” She poked him in the chest. “You should stop thinking. Isn’t all this enough?”
It’s more than enough. It’s everything.
But he knew it couldn’t last because he wouldn’t let it.
“Let me escort you back to Thaddeus,” he said, stepping away from her and holding out his arm.
She exhaled an exasperated breath, but she took his arm without comment.
They didn’t speak as he led her through the crowd to where Thaddeus stood.
“I’ll come in a few days,” she said as he bowed. It was not a question, and he felt a visceral reaction at her commanding tone.
He wanted to hear her tell him what to do some more. He wanted it very much. Because it was her choice.
Chapter Fourteen
The rest of the party passed in a whirl, mostly because Ana Maria couldn’t stop thinking about it. All of it: his mouth on hers, her hand on him, how he’d sounded when he’d whispered in her ear.
How exhilarating it had felt to know that just above them were people who would be shocked, horrified, and also likely titillated if they knew what was happening in the garden below.
She woke at dawn, lying in her luxurious bed, the bed she still slept to one side of because she hadn’t yet gotten used to the size of it compared to her earlier bed, staring out the window at the various chimneys, clouds, and the faintest hint of sun.
She felt completely and totally in control—able to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.
The feeling might not last, but she needed to take advantage of it while it did.
Springing out of bed, she went to her wardrobe and drew out one of her new day dresses, a blue gown that looked like it had been dipped into the sea. It wasn’t too difficult to button up, thank goodness, although she knew most ladies would insist on assistance for every little item they might put on.
But she wanted to be alone to savor how remarkable she felt.
It wasn’t just the kissing, though the kissing helped; it was that she had stated what she wanted, both to herself and to him, and she had acted on her wants.
Today she was going to begin her new venture, whatever that might look like. She’d go to Miss Ivy’s and consult with Octavia, then go to his house for more lessons in fighting.
Not a euphemism, though she hoped that there would be other non-fighting activities as well. Which she had told him straight-out.
From now on, she was going to say what she meant. If she could figure that out precisely. Because of course she was still conflicted, still oxymoronic, about what it was she actually desired.
Though she knew definitely she desired him.
“My lady!”
Jane burst through the door holding a tray, glancing quickly at the clock in the corner and then back at Ana Maria with a startled expression. “It is so early, what in goodness’ name are you doing up?”
Jane set the tray down on the low table to the right of the bed, then approached Ana Maria and took hold of her shoulders, twisting her so her back was to Jane. Ana Maria shook the other woman’s hands off as she felt them at her buttons.
“I did those already,” she said in a terse tone as she spun back around.
“I just wanted to check,” Jane