all pretend. I heard you.”
Xavier’s hand feels big and strong around mine, but not exactly safe. I’m now caught between choosing the lesser of two evils—a man I want nothing to do with, and a man I should want nothing to do with.
On the way out, I look right past Bodhi as if he’s invisible. Xavier and I are stopped several times by fans asking for me to sign copies of my book they brought from home. I welcome the opportunity to get a break from Xavier’s touch—only I don’t. His hand slides up my back and beneath my hair, coming to rest on the back of my neck, where his thumb continues to stroke my skin.
A pretty woman in her fifties offers me a copy of Manifesting Daily Miracles. “Can you sign it to Cindy, please?”
“Of course.” My hand flows with my note and signature. “Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy the conference.”
“Thank you.” She takes the book and pen back. “I have to admit, after hearing the rumors about Bodhi’s womanizing, I almost didn’t come. I don’t want to support that kind of behavior. But then I heard how he was starting fresh under his given name, becoming vulnerable about his past, and thought I could really learn something new here. Besides, I’d only be spiting myself if I didn’t come because, for better or worse, he’s an incredible speaker and teacher. He’s also made some big changes since you two broke up. I’m hoping they stick.”
This only confirms my fear of still being linked to Bodhi, and I’m curious about these changes when I shouldn’t be. “I’m impressed with your open-minded approach.”
Her gaze shifts to Xavier, then me. “And I’m impressed with your choice of a man after all you went through. You deserve someone as respectable as your handsome officer here.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Xavier says.
As soon as the woman moves on, Xavier gives the back of my neck a squeeze and murmurs, “Did you hear that? She called me respectable and handsome.”
He never fails to make me laugh, even in the worst situation.
Xavier holds my hand until we hit the dock and I pull away. I’m glad the light is dim out here so he can’t read my expressions so easily. He always seems to know what I’m thinking.
I step onto the deck of my boat, where one soft porch light reveals several shipping boxes stacked beside my front door. Bodhi’s books.
Fucking fantastic.
I put my hands against my cheeks and blow out a breath. “The next ten days are going to suck so hard.”
“They don’t have to,” Xavier says.
I drop my hands. “You’re right, they don’t have to. Look, I know you were trying to do something good tonight, but in the future, I’d appreciate it if you’d consult me before jumping in and messing with my life.”
His mouth kicks up on one side. “I don’t recall having enough time for a consultation. Besides, you seemed to be…struggling.”
“Only because he blindsided me.”
“Which is exactly why I stepped in. I am trained in blindsiding—the giving and the getting.” He slides his fingers into a space on the top box and pries it open. “What’s in here?”
I sigh and cross my arms. “His books.”
Xavier pulls one out and frowns at the title. “Grounded Spirituality. Not exactly catchy. What are you supposed to be doing with them, again?” He shoots me an evil grin. “Bonfire?”
I laugh. “Bonfire has real merit, but no. I’m putting them in the welcome bags, which means, if I want to stay autonomous, I have to pull mine out.”
He drags his uniform shirt from his pants and starts unbuttoning it. The move strikes me as intensely intimate, and nerves prickle in my gut. “What are you doing?”
“Getting comfortable.” He tosses his shirt over the railing, then yanks at the Velcro on his body armor, lifts it over his head, and adds it to the railing, leaving him in a perfectly fitting white tee.
“Whoa.” I hold out a hand. “That’s as comfortable as you get, Wilde.”
“You didn’t seem to mind me getting comfortable at Wanderlust.”
“Whole different purpose.” And, damn, I don’t need a reminder.
I try—really try—to keep my gaze off his chest. Not only do I fail miserably, but I can’t seem to keep myself from scanning his abs and the way his uniform pants hang easily on his narrow hips. I can’t keep my mind from swinging back to that moment earlier today, when all he wore was a sheet, and I felt