way.
“I’m no good at pretending, and I don’t have time to play games. I’ve got a lot of work to do to reschedule everything before morning.”
Xavier holds a hand out to me. “Come on, sugar, let me show you how easy it’ll be.”
I cross my arms. “This is stupid.”
“He’s waiting right outside the market door,” Xavier says, hitching his thumb over his shoulder. “And speaking from a guy’s perspective, I can promise you that if you leave without me, he’s going to think we fought over him and you bailed, which makes you extremely fair game.”
I pull in a breath to tell him he’s full of shit, but he’s not. That’s exactly what Bodhi would think. And, as much as I hate myself for all the feelings that have resurfaced, I have to admit that they have resurfaced. Having Xavier as a buffer could help me find my equilibrium and strength again.
“Or, you can walk out with me,” Xavier says in the silence, “and stroll past that asshat, showing him and everyone else out there that you’ve not only moved on, but moved up.”
“Moved up to yet another player?” The words come out with too much bitterness, too much accusation, and I immediately regret them.
Xavier plants a hand against his chest. “Ouch.”
I can tell by his expression he’s only playing hurt, but the barb exposes my weaknesses. “I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Pffft,” KT says. “That’s nicer than what I would have said.”
Xavier frowns playfully at KT and gestures to himself, shoulders to toes. “Don’t disrespect the law, Rivers. There will be hell to pay.”
Laiyla laughs.
“It’s only ten days,” KT tells me. “And half the town already thinks you two are sleeping together anyway.”
My arms drop right along with my jaw. “What?” I turn a scowl on Xavier. “What did you—”
“Not me,” he says, hands up in surrender. “I didn’t say anything to anyone.” He hooks his hands in the neck of his body armor and grins. “Though I might have mentioned what I’d like to—”
“Not helpful,” KT says with a don’t-make-it-worse scowl for Xavier. “My point is, locals won’t think twice when they see you two together.”
The room goes silent for several long, uncomfortable moments. I don’t care what people in town think, but I am concerned about my reputation as a spiritual teacher.
Xavier extends his hand again.
“I hate this,” I say. “I hate all of this. It goes against everything I stand for—independence, success on my own terms, finding happiness without a man.”
Xavier only nods as if he understands and uses his hand to make a “come here” gesture.
If this was all about me, I’d make some very different decisions. But it’s not. It’s about doing the tough stuff to honor my responsibilities, about taking care of my friends and my students. Taking Xavier’s hand now will give me time to get in touch with my better self and find a civilized way to deal with Bodhi so I don’t tank our first retreat.
I grit my teeth and grudgingly take Xavier’s hand. His smile is quick and sweet, and a tingle courses through my stomach, urging me to reiterate, “This. Is. Only. Pretend.”
He pulls me close and wraps his free arm around my waist. The move is effortless, his body warm and strong. And yeah, I melt a little—at his commitment to our friendship, his willingness to help me out, the fact that he’d play this stupid game just to keep my life intact.
He releases my hand and brushes my hair over my shoulder, his gaze following the motion with a softness I’ve only ever seen when he’s playing with Ben’s girls. “This is just a friend helping out a friend, and I believe I owe you one.”
“Grab one of the schedules,” Laiyla says. “Cross your name off the events you want to skip, then take a picture and send it to me. I’ll fix it tonight.”
“I can do it,” I tell Laiyla, turning to face her. “I’m the one making the mess, I can clean up.”
“You need to put the books in the tote bags,” KT says. “I’ll stay here with Ben and the girls and be the face of the resort.”
“All settled.” Xavier wraps his arms around me from behind and rests his chin on my shoulder. “Ready to get out of here?”
From the frying pan into the fire.
“Yeah,” I tell Xavier, who’s body is currently making mine sing a tune I haven’t heard in a long damn time. I glance over my shoulder. “But—”
“It’s