And, not that it is any of your business, but nothing has happened between him and me. This is about us. I want a family. I want children. I don’t want to marry you.”
“Fine. It is over. You won’t make the fool out of me.” He got up and stormed out of Ghirardelli.
I prayed that no one had taken a picture that would end up in the tabloids.
I could’ve taken an Uber back to my hotel across the bridge, but I didn’t want to be alone. Before I could reconsider, I dialed Bret’s number.
“Hey,” Bret answered, sounding groggy.
“Bret, I’m stuck in the city. Can you come get me?”
He didn’t pause. “Of course. Where are you?”
Bret
Selena curled up on the sofa in the houseboat. I had offered to take her back to the hotel, but she asked to hang out with me. Her eyes seemed so sad that I’d relented and invited her in. She hadn’t said much on the ride over the Golden Gate Bridge, but I had a suspicion that her state of mind had something to do with Dima. I knew he was in town for the competition.
“I’m sorry, Bret. I shouldn’t have called you. I just didn’t want to be alone. Thanks for picking me up.”
I sat on my father’s leather recliner. She was vulnerable, and I wanted to make sure I didn’t take advantage of that. “Don’t worry about it. I’m always here for you.”
She started petting Banjo, who rolled over to get his belly rubbed. “I told Dima that it was over between us personally. Forever. He didn’t take it well.”
The hair on my arms stood up. Her relationship status shouldn’t matter to me. If I let her get too close, she would break my heart again. “I’m sure it was just a fight. Next year, you guys will be back together, planning a wedding. Televised worldwide.” I watched her face, expecting her to look confused and lost. But she looked determined, the way she looked before she was about to win a competition.
“No, Bret. Never. We’ve been broken up for years. And even when we were together, there were rumors about other women. I didn’t believe them, but I was never sure. And also . . .” Her face contorted.
“Also what?”
“Never mind.”
She was keeping something from me. My best guess was about how she had cheated on me with Dima when I was in boot camp. I was glad she didn’t finish—I didn’t want to hear about it.
She exhaled and finally continued. “But none of that matters. Dima’s a great dancer, but I’m not in love with him. For some reason, I always thought Dima and I would end up back together. Not because we were soul mates or anything. Just because our lives are so intertwined. And I never thought anyone else would want me. I still feel like that ugly, chubby teen who was teased. But you helped me realize that I deserve more than that. I guess what I’m saying is . . . I want you, Bret. Please give me another chance.”
Her heart-shaped face glowed in the reflection of the moonlight on the water. My heart beat strongly.
Even after all these years, was it possible that I still loved her?
Selena sometimes had her head in the clouds, but her bright outlook on life softened me. And she was never ugly or chubby to me. She was always perfect. Breathtakingly beautiful. It wasn’t just that I was attracted to her; I believed that she was the only one who’d ever really understood me. She was the one who had comforted me when my parents announced they were getting a divorce and when I had been taunted in school for dancing. In boot camp, picturing my future life with Selena had motivated me through the hard times.
But I couldn’t, wouldn’t risk getting hurt.
“It’s late, and you’re upset. I’ll always be here for you, Selena. As a friend.”
She came closer to me. “I don’t want to be your friend.”
The truth was that my words were empty—I didn’t want to be her friend either. The thought of another man, of that motherfucker Dima touching her, made my skin crawl.
“Tell you what, let’s crash and talk tomorrow.”
She nodded her head. I gave her my bed and slept on the sofa. I didn’t want to take advantage of her when she was so emotional.
Over the past ten years, I convinced myself that I had hated dancing, that I hated Selena. But I had allowed my rejection