God, one Heaven. I only had one chance to do things right.
“We aren’t soul mates. We were both very young. It’s clear now we have nothing in common and very different beliefs.”
Robyn’s beautiful lips curled. “Maybe you are meant to learn something from each other. We don’t always fall in love with someone who is like ourselves. It would be too easy. I’m from a very different background than Xavi. But he completes me, and I’ve experienced such amazing growth with him. Twenty years together, and we’ve raised three beautiful children.”
I was pleased that their marriage seemed to be the real deal. I had hoped that I wouldn’t be paired with a cheating Hollywood housewife who would look at me as if I were a piece of meat.
“You two are fortunate. I hope to find that someday—once I get out of the Marines. But it won’t be with Selena.”
Robyn put her hand on my knee, but not in a creepy, seductive way. More motherly. “Bret, you can’t choose your path. You should just be open to your surroundings.” She stood up, walked to the stereo, and turned off the music. Selena and Xavier stopped dancing. Xavier looked as if he might fall to the ground.
“Please, Bret and Selena. Would you both care to join us for lunch?”
Selena gave Xavier an encouraging hug. “Sure. I’m starving.”
Robyn led everyone to the redwood deck and then went inside the French doors to bring out lunch. I was also impressed that I hadn’t noticed any maids or cooks in the home.
Robyn brought out a pitcher of iced tea, a plate of sandwiches, and a bowl of pasta salad. Everything looked delicious, though I noticed that there was no meat to be found.
I piled my plate. “Thank you, Robyn. You didn’t need to do this.”
“It’s my pleasure. The sandwiches are hummus, avocado, sprouts, and tomatoes, and the pasta is organic, gluten-free, and vegan. Enjoy.”
The food tasted great and was surprisingly filling.
We ate quickly and engaged in meaningless conversation about the show. Robyn went to get dessert, and Xavier followed her into the house.
Selena and I stared out into the three-tier rose garden.
“Sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you,” I offered.
“It’s fine. You made a good point. It’s a hard lifestyle for others to accept. I understand. It would be so much easier to be involved with my partner.”
“What happened with you and Dima? The truth, please.”
Selena pushed the last piece of pasta around on her plate. “What do you want to know?”
The burning question in my head for years couldn’t be held back any longer. “Why did you leave me, Sel?”
She looked up at me, her bottom lip trembling. “It’s complicated.”
The pain was surprisingly as sharp as it had been when I’d received her Dear John letter. “Can’t even tell me?”
“Not now, not here.” Selena turned to me and placed her hand on my thigh. A warmth shot through my body. She had a tear in her eye, and she didn’t even bother to wipe it away.
“Are you going to get back with Dima?”
“I don’t think so. I want children. I know Dima wouldn’t make a great father. He gets frustrated with kids. You remember how he was with us. Always yelling at us when we made mistakes. Kicking our feet ’til they bled. No patience.”
“Dima’s abusive. Always has been.”
“Not always.”
Damn, she didn’t even see it. I couldn’t handle her defending him. My resentment toward her melted into an emerging protective streak that had never gone away. “You deserve better.”
She took a deep breath. “I just don’t know what I want anymore. My life is so different since when we were together. I’m different. I was so ugly back then. I hated myself so much. I still do.”
My heart broke for her. How did she ever believe that?
“Sel, you were beautiful back then. Perfect. It’s this world that makes you feel ugly. But it’s fake, not real. I know you, babe. The real you.”
She quivered. “You always made me feel beautiful. Thank you for that. And you are right about this world. But I need this title, Bret. I could get kicked off the show tomorrow. My mom sacrificed so much for my dancing lessons. All those competitions and costumes weren’t cheap. If I win Blackpool, I’ll be able to judge.”
A few more tears stained her face. I wasn’t sure what to do, but my instinct to comfort her took over. I pulled her toward my chest and just held her.
A rush of