Anita.”
“Then that means I need to offer it. Personal intimacy is like a gift that you give each other. Does that make any sense to you?”
“I think I understand what you mean.”
“Good,” I said.
Olaf leaned in close and smelled my hair like he had over at the sheriff’s office, but I wasn’t afraid this time. I don’t know if it was the bright sunlight and the crowd of families with kids, or other cops being nearby, or maybe I was just done with being scared of him.
“You do not smell like fear now. Do you think you’ve tamed me?”
“No, never. You are what you’ve always been: a big, dangerous predator. Do your preferences toward women scare me? Yes, but you keep saying you want to date me or have a relationship with me. I finally realized when you touched me in there that I’ve been so busy treating you like the big bad wolf that I haven’t taken the time to tell you any of my preferences. If this is supposed to be some kind of relationship, then you need to know my dating rules, just like I need to know yours.”
“I do not think I have dating rules, since I have never truly dated anyone.”
“Fair enough, but since I’ve dated more people than you have, maybe it’s my job to help you figure out your dating rules.”
He took in a deep breath and let it out slow. “Dating you is going to be difficult.”
“You aren’t the first person to say that.”
“Dating me is far more than just difficult, Anita.”
“Yeah, I know it’s potentially life-threatening.”
“Yes,” he said, face solemn, as if the answer made him sad.
“Just promise me one thing.”
“What?” he asked.
“If you realize you can’t fight your serial killer urges when it comes to me, warn me.”
“I will give you my word, if you will give me your word on something else.”
“What?” I asked.
“That you will truly give me a chance to date you.”
“Maybe we should figure out what dating means to us before I give my word. I’d hate to promise something and then find out that you meant something very different.”
“That is both fair and logical,” he said.
“Thanks.”
“Then first we need to define what dating means to me,” he said.
“Just you?” I asked.
“You know what dating means for you, because you’ve done it. I have not dated in any way that you would approve of for yourself.”
“You’ve never taken a woman out to dinner or a movie or anything, not ever?”
“I’ve only done that if I was pretending to be someone else and the woman was necessary to maintain my cover.”
“I keep forgetting that you and Ted used to be in the same business.” In my head, I thought of them as supersecret assassins.
“We still are.”
“Okay, so then we have to figure out what dating really means for you.”
“How do I do that?”
“Figure out what you enjoy doing that someone else could do with you.”
“Something that we would both enjoy?” he asked.
“Preferably, yes.”
He nodded again. “I will think on it.”
“Good. Now let’s join the others and get back to work.”
“I enjoy killing people with you. Could that count as a date?”
I shook my head. “No, nothing illegal counts.”
He sighed. “Dating is harder than I thought it would be.”
“Always,” I said.
34
NEWMAN TOLD OLAF that he wanted to ask my advice about his fiancée and combining his career with a serious relationship. He even had a lead-in question ready to go, as if that was the only reason he wanted some private time with me.
“I mean, how do you get your fiancés to be okay with you spending so much time in the gym every week?”
“They work out with me or are doing their own workouts while I do mine.”
“Simple,” he said, “but I’d like to pick your brain about a few other things.”
“Sure,” I said.
“Jeffries, if you wouldn’t mind riding back with Livingston and Kaitlin, I’ll do the couple talk in the car, and that way, when we get back to the sheriff’s station, we’ll be ready to work.”
Olaf was suspicious and not particularly happy about it, but Newman just vibrated with sincerity, so in the end, he rode with the state cops and I got into the car with Newman. He smiled and was perfectly normal until he saw them go out of sight; then he turned to me. He wasn’t smiling anymore.
“What do you really want to talk about?” I asked him.
“I saw Jeffries touch your leg at breakfast.”
“I thought you did.”
“You told him to move