why would it bother her that Cheri and J.J. knew she’d be heading their way?
Shame, that was why. Tanyalee was ashamed to come clean, which meant she was still trying to control what others thought of her. Sometimes it felt like she hadn’t learned a damn thing at Sedona Sunset, that her life since she’d been back had been nothing but one step forward and two steps back.
“Aunt Viv, if there’s nothing else, Fern and I have a lot to accomplish before I take her home. I really should go.”
Tanyalee tossed the phone into her bag, wandered through the salon sitting area, and stepped into the open mall. As always, the place echoed with the voices and laughter of high-school kids, retirees, and mothers and children. She raised her eyes to the atrium ceiling, a clear, late summer sky peeking through, and felt a rush of anxiety so sharp it took her breath away.
She couldn’t delay it any longer. Cheri and J.J. were home and it was time to face all the ugly and humiliating garbage that had brought her to this point in her life. It was time to sit down with Cheri and get it all out, all the pain and jealousy and anger. She’d always imagined the talk with Cheri would be a long heart-to-heart, ending in a mutual understanding between sisters at the very least, and maybe even an opportunity to start fresh. Tanyalee was truly hopeful when it came to her sister.
But she’d be lucky to get J.J. to stand still for more than ten seconds while she said her piece. The hate and disgust would pour off him in waves, the way it had since the day he caught her lying about their baby and set out to divorce her. But Tanyalee had no choice but to push through. She would have to dig deep to find the courage to do what had to be done with J.J., because if she truly wanted to be a better person, if she wanted to look at herself in the mirror without cringing for the rest of her life, that was the only way.
She felt her eyes sting. Tanyalee sniffed and pulled her gaze away from the patch of blue sky, remembering what Dr. Leslie had always said. She could not control how J.J., Cheri, or anyone else reacted to her amends. The only thing Tanyalee could control was whether she took responsibility for her failings and asked to be forgiven. Dr. Leslie had assured her that as long as she was sincere and spoke without arrogance, good things would come of every one of those difficult conversations.
She surely hoped Dr. Leslie knew what she was talking about.
Tanyalee caught her reflection in the salon window, and for an instant she didn’t recognize the image looking back at her. Certainly, she saw a pretty, carefully put-together woman with every hair in place, every item of clothing coordinated and neatly pressed. But all that feminine tidiness couldn’t hide the regret in the woman’s eyes. And it suddenly clicked in Tanyalee’s brain—that woman was her, a woman who was chock-full of shame and regret.
Her focus sharpened when she saw movement inside the salon. There was Fern, draped in a nylon cape, sitting on the edge of the stylist’s chair, waving her arms around in a panic. Tanyalee rushed inside the shop. The stylist’s eyes were wide and her face was a flustered pink.
“For goodness’ sake! What’s all the fuss?” Suddenly, Tanyalee knew the answer to her own question. Fern’s hair. It had been washed and conditioned to a gloss, then razor-cut to a shoulder-length bob. The hair was softly angled at the ends but texturized to add volume, and the shiny blond bangs were fashionably long and uneven. Fern looked adorable, and in a perfectly age-appropriate way, to boot.
“You’re beautiful!”
“I look ridiculous.” Fern’s chin began to tremble. She quickly turned away, her new hairdo swinging in response to her movement. And that was when Tanyalee realized Fern wasn’t being cantankerous just for the pleasure of it—she was terribly upset.
Tanyalee smiled at the stylist and said, “It’s supercute. You did a great job. But could we have just a tiny minute of privacy?”
The young woman nodded. “I’ll be up at the register.”
“Thankyousoverymuch.” Tanyalee took a moment to gather her thoughts. She had a hunch that whatever she did next would either win a bit of Fern’s trust or blow the whole mentoring thing to hell and back. Regardless, she had to