He’d either have to leave Bigler or leave her alone.
The idea of either felt like hell.
“Agent O’Connor?” The surgical nurse stepped into the waiting room. Granddaddy woke up with a snort. Cheri turned off her phone. Kelly and Wes stood up. “Agent Cabrera is awake. You had asked to talk to him first, isn’t that correct?”
“Yes, thank you.” O’Connor and Wes were gone.
Cheri touched her arm. “Granddaddy and I are going to get some coffee while they’re in there with him. Do you want some?”
Tanyalee shook her head quickly. “No, thank you.”
“Do you want to come along?”
“No. I’ll just stay here.”
Cheri leaned in close and squeezed her fingers around Tanyalee’s forearm. “Dante’s going to be all right—he’s awake and talking—but I swear you look worse than when you were waiting to hear if he’d make it. What’s going on?”
“Can we talk about this later?” Tanyalee blinked rapidly, not wanting to cry. Not here. Not in front of people.
“Of course.”
With Cheri and Granddaddy gone, she was alone. Tanyalee got up and walked over to the window, feeling a chill through the double-paned glass. She stood a while, staring at nothing, thinking about even less, just feeling the pit in her stomach grow deeper and darker by the second.
Suddenly, she could feel someone standing behind her. Could Dante’s sister or mother have made it here already? She turned around.
J.J.
Tanyalee straight-armed him. “Not now, J.J.”
He frowned at her.
Tanyalee slid down into a nearby chair, suddenly so exhausted she felt ill. J.J. took a step closer. She shook her head at him. “Would you mind saving the righteous indignation for another time? I understand I am at fault and I am willing to face the consequences of my actions. But I’ve had a real bad day and—”
J.J. sat in the adjacent chair. Tanyalee flinched.
He sighed. “I’m not a monster, Tanyalee.”
She laughed, then sniffled miserably. “Oh, but I am, J.J. Think about it—everyone I come in contact with either ends up pressing charges against me, becomes incarcerated, or ends up in the hospital—or all of the above!”
“That’s not true and you know it.”
“Oh, really?” She sniffled again. “Sometimes I feel like there will be no end to the amends I need to make. I worry that I hurt people even when I don’t want to. Look at Dante!” She pointed down the hospital hallway. “He’s in trouble with his boss because I’m a felon. He could lose his job over me. And he nearly lost his life trying to save me! I ruin everything!”
J.J. grabbed a box of tissues from the side table and handed it to her. She blew her nose.
“Thankyousoverymuch.” Tanyalee sighed. “Maybe I should rent out the high school football stadium and invite the whole county. I could apologize for everything I’ve done in the past and anything I might ever do in the future, all in one fell swoop.”
“Sounds like an awful lot of trouble.”
Tanyalee stared at him. “You got a better idea?”
J.J. smiled. “I think I do.”
* * *
Tanyalee knew she looked rode hard and put away wet—raccoon eyes, sticky hair, nails cracked from the whole tire-iron thing—and she was wearing pink from head to toe thanks to Aunt Viv. It didn’t matter, she supposed. It would probably make it easier.
Her plan was to remain lighthearted and sweet. Tell him how happy she was that he was all right, which was completely true, and then tell him how sorry she was that he was shot on her account, which was also completely true. After that, she would tell him she wanted to date other people. It would be easier that way, quick and less hurtful for him in the long run. Technically, such a statement would be an untruth, due to the fact that she never wanted to date anyone other than Dante for the rest of her life! But what else was she going to do?
She pushed open the hospital room door.
Tanyalee wasn’t sure what she expected to see, but it wasn’t this. Dante was sitting under a dim overhead light, his right side bandaged from his waist to under his chin. A clean white sheet was folded over his lap, an IV was taped to his left arm, and a groggy smile was plastered on his face.
He looked so good! So alive and handsome and still in one piece! And suddenly Tanyalee was flooded with such a wild mix of relief and sadness and guilt that she forgot to smile back.
“I love you, Tanyalee Marie Newberry.”
The words were