but I shouldn’t have assumed you’d want to. It’s a lot. I get it. You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last.”
Fitz hated being compared to Jack’s previous failed relationships, but in this instance, Jack was right, because he didn’t know if he could handle it. The danger, the violence, the heartache…
“I’m sorry, Jack, but I just wasn’t expecting all… this.” He motioned to the chaos around him. “The guns, the violence, the danger you put yourself in every day. You’re used to all that, but I’m not. Even without the military thing, I don’t think I could handle knowing something might happen to you out there while on a job, and then you throw this crazy person into the mix, and… it’s too much for me. I just want a normal, quiet life, and my life has been anything but normal or quiet since you walked into it.” The moment the words were out of his mouth, he wished he could take them back. Jack flinched, heartache written all over his face.
“Normal. Right.” Jack let out a soft laugh, the sound breaking Fitz’s heart even more, if that were possible. “Yeah, you’re definitely not going to get that with me.”
“I didn’t mean—”
Jack stood and headed for the door. He stopped halfway and turned, his expression cold. “For the record, we didn’t become Green Berets to kill. We became Green Berets for the same reason we opened Four Kings Security. To help and protect people. De Oppresso Liber isn’t just a motto for us. I’d offer to help you clean up, but I think it’s best if I leave. Bye, Fitz.”
Fitz couldn’t move, because if he did, he might shatter. His heart splintered into more pieces than the coffee tabletop as the front door quietly closed. Tears blurred his vision, and Fitz covered his mouth with his hand in the hopes of keeping his sobs at bay, his arm wrapped around himself as he sank to the floor.
What had he done?
His phone rang, and he picked up. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, Laz.”
“Jack called. He told me what happened with Clint. I’m two minutes away.”
Fitz hung up, the doorbell scaring the hell out of him. Slowly he stood when he heard Laz call out. Hurrying to the door, Fitz let Laz in.
“What happened? Why did Jack sound so… upset?”
“Fuck,” Fitz said with a sniff. “Red’s going to fucking hate me. They’re all going to hate me.”
“They’re not going to hate you,” Laz assured him. “What happened? Jack said your client’s husband showed up, there was a fight, the police came. Saint was taken to the hospital. But he didn’t say what happened between you two, and I know something happened, because he wouldn’t have called me otherwise and told me to come here. He said one of King’s guys would be here in ten minutes.”
Even after everything Fitz had said, Jack was still looking out for him.
“Christ!” Fitz ran a hand through his hair. “Laz, I fucked up so bad.” He started cleaning up the mess, thanking his friend for helping him, and told Laz everything, including what he’d said.
“Oh, Fitz.”
“I know! I pretty much accused him of being a killer. I didn’t mean it, I was… fuck, Laz. A man attacked me in my house, another asshole wants me dead, someone threw a Molotov cocktail through my salon window, and when I saw him hitting that guy, I lost it.”
“Hey.” Laz took Fitz’s hands in his and sat down with him on the couch. “The stress got to you. It happens.”
Fitz wiped the tears from his cheeks. “How could I hurt him like that? He’s the best thing to ever happen to me, and I fucked it up.”
“Stop. Tomorrow’s another day. Talk to him in the morning, apologize, have some great make-up sex.” Laz smiled softly at him and squeezed his hand. “Jack will understand.”
“What if I can’t handle it, Laz? What if I’m kidding myself that this will work? I mean, if that’s the first place my mind goes to, he’s always going to have doubts, isn’t he?”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes, but love alone isn’t enough. Maybe it is in fairytales, but not in real life.”
“Tell him you love him. Tell him you want to make things work. No relationship is perfect. We are not perfect. Red and I, Lucky and Mason, King and Leo, Ace and Colton? They’re all relationships that take work, communication, compromise, and yes, you risk your heart, but it’s worth