rusty, but it doesn’t go away.”
Fitz traced the V of Jack’s T-shirt collar, his fingers itching to feel Jack’s skin. “I’ve heard the guys call you MacGyver.”
“Duct tape can solve many a problem,” Jack said with a chuckle. “Sadly, I have never built a hot air balloon out of old clothes, a parachute, refrigerator parts, and glue.” Jack rubbed a hand over his hair. “You’re the expert. How would I look in a mullet?”
Fitz snickered. “How about no. That’s one fashion trend that needs to stay back in the era it belongs.” He leaned in and kissed Jack, loving the way Jack returned his kisses, slowly, as if they had all the time in the world and he wanted to savor every second. He stroked Fitz’s cheek, like he couldn’t stop himself from needing to feel some part of Fitz’s skin. With a smile, Fitz let his forehead rest against Jack’s. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”
“Never apologize for needing to take care of yourself. Self-care is important. I learned that the hard way a long time ago.”
“Red mentioned you and the guys lived with King for a while when you got back.” Fitz snuggled close and inhaled Jack’s scent. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Jack’s arm around him, holding him close.
“Yeah. We were a mess, always angry, itching for a fight. But you don’t want to hear about all that.”
“Talking about the darkness can sometimes bring a little light into it. I’ll always be here to listen.”
Jack’s breath hitched. “Really?”
Fitz nodded. He pulled back enough so Jack could look down at him and see he meant it. “It’s part of you, Jack. Whatever you want to share about that time in your life, the good, the bad, the painful, I want to know.” He cupped Jack’s cheek and rubbed his thumb across the light stubble that had grown in. “I want to get to know you. All of you.”
“Okay. There are some things I can’t talk about. I can’t give you specific details of places we went to or what we did there.”
“I understand.” Fitz laid his head back down. If he wanted to be with Jack, he had to accept the secrets. He should have hesitated at the thought, but somehow, with Jack, he didn’t.
“I sort of shut down. Locked myself in my room and spent most of my time in bed. Not sleeping, mind you. Sleeping was something none of us wanted to do. If I went to sleep, we’d see them, the brothers who didn’t make it back.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Every time I closed my eyes, I’d see them, I’d see Sacha on the ground, bloodied and unconscious. I thought I’d lost him too. He was so still. I moved on instinct, had no idea who else was alive. There was so much smoke and dirt, my vision was blurry, and my ears were ringing. Everything was on fire, and my body hurt like nothing I’d ever felt, but I just kept moving. I had to get to him.” Jack absently stroked Fitz’s side beneath his shirt, his voice quiet and calm. “When I finally did, I checked him over and found he was alive and breathing normally. I cried with relief. That’s when I heard Ace shouting for us to move. I grabbed Sacha, got him over my shoulder, and went in search of the others. Sacha stirred, half in, half out, asking for Echo.”
“Was he one of your fellow Green Berets?”
“She was. She was Sacha’s K-9. A Belgian Malinois like Chip but fawn colored with a black mask. He wasn’t supposed to get attached to her, but Sacha’s never met a dog he didn’t fall in love with.” Jack chuckled. “He prefers them to most people.”
Fitz smiled at that. Sounded like Joker all right. He swallowed hard. “What happened?”
“Her job was to detect explosives, but something went wrong that day. We didn’t stand a chance. Echo couldn’t be found, so her body wasn’t brought home. It hit Sacha hard. I know it sounds absurd, mourning a dog when we lost good men, but Echo was a soldier too. She had our backs, looked out for us, and helped with morale. She made us laugh a lot.” Jack sniffed, and Fitz closed his eyes to fight back his own tears. He wrapped an arm around Jack and held him tight, offering what comfort he could.
“Anyway, we got back, and it was bad. Sacha and I couldn’t even be in the same room.