E’s, five prescription Concertas, two vials of K, and God knows how much alcohol. I lose count. I’ll try anything once. Pills. K. Meth. Coke. Morphine. E. Acid. Whatever. But I won’t do some things twice. Like meth. That’s like suicide a second time. One taste of heaven has to be enough. I’ve seen too many people screw up their lives from that shit.
Time passes. I don’t know if it’s day or night. The blinds are down the whole time and there’s cardboard up against the other bare windows. I don’t eat. All I do is sleep, wake up, do drugs, watch movies, sleep, make out, wake up, do drugs, stare at the TV screen. I’m so messed up I don’t know what’s happening. I open my eyes and find some guy kissing me, but I push him off ’cause his mouth is all wet and sloppy and stinky. Then I come to again and I’m in the washroom and a different guy has his hand up my top, but I’m too wasted to care. At some point, on the second night, Jasmyn disappears into the bedroom with two other guys for a few hours. Ally, who always seems sober no matter how much she takes, makes a scene and keeps knocking on the door to make sure she’s okay.
“She keeps telling me to fuck off, but I’m not going to stop,” Ally reports back to me.“She’s totally messed up. She’s an idiot to be in there with them alone. You know what kind of shit can happen?” She’s going on and on about it and I nod my head to agree, though I don’t care so much because I don’t really know Jasmyn.
Then, totally randomly, while I’m dozing off on this guy’s lap and Ally is watching TV, Jasmyn comes tearing out of the room. “Let’s go! Let’s go!”
Her voice is so loud and terrified that we don’t hesitate to jump up and run out behind her. You don’t need a long explanation when you’ve hung out with people like this before. You know there’s bad shit. Guns. Drugs. Messed-up guys. So we just run, like it is our lives at stake.
When we get to the road, Jasmyn buckles over, laughing hysterically. Her slutty miniskirt is hiked up so high, we can see her thong underwear.“Mother fucka! That goddamn shit.” She turns to us. “You know what he wanted? He wanted me to piss on him. You know? Like sit on his chest and piss. Golden shower? What da hell?”
Ally reaches out and pushes Jasmyn backward. “Fuck you! You terrified me. I thought it was something bad.”
“Fuck you,” Jasmyn retaliates, pushing back. “You don’t think piss is bad?”
Ally kisses her teeth and continues walking down the road. She decides we should hide on the porch of a house because the guys might follow us since Jasmyn still has some of their weed. Ally’s smart like that. She chooses a dark house with no cars in the driveway and three newspapers sitting outside the door.
“No one’s home here,” Ally concludes. “We’ll chill here for a bit.” She sits down on the battered-up couch on the front porch and we just follow her. I pop the last pill of whatever I have, that I found in my pocket. We smoke a few blunts and soon things are fine, we’re laughing about stupid shit, until Jasmyn decides that she has to go pee and insists she needs a toilet.
“Just piss behind the bush,” Ally says, still annoyed at her.
“Fuck that. I’m no dog. You calling me a bitch? That what you sayin’?”And it’s like Jasmyn gets all psycho and Allison and I exchange looks like this girl is really fucked up. I mean, way more fucked up than me. So we know not to argue. Jasmyn’s fake nails alone would scratch our eyes out. “I’m going inside,” Jasmyn announces.
“What?” Ally asks.
“How?” I ask.
“I’m going through this motha-fuckin’ front door,” she declares, flicking off her high-heel shoe, hiking her miniskirt, and giving the door a big kick. “Shit!” she wails, buckling over in fake laughter. “Fuck this shit. I’m going around the back.”
Ally and I keep talking, not too worried about what she’s up to. We figure she’ll have the same problem back there and will end up peeing in the yard anyway.
“What’s her story?” I ask, even though I’m too high to truly care.
“She’s cool. Really. She’s nuts. But she’s cool. I don’t know. I like her. She’ll watch your back. She’s