built like an out-of-control hurricane. He’d woken this morning to find her worshipping his morning wood with long licks and kisses, murmuring husky praise against his stomach, jacking him off in her fist. Fuck. He’d managed a strangled request to finish inside her pussy, but she’d refused to let up. Holding him down with a hand on his abs, pulling hard with her mouth, and moaning, as if she couldn’t stop.
She drummed her fingers on the armrest, dragging him from the memory. “May’s wife must know what happened to her husband. Taking payouts to keep quiet, maybe?”
He dragged his head out of the gutter and focused. When he adjusted himself in his pants, she gave him a sexy, knowing smile, which didn’t help at all. “Yeah. She doesn’t exactly appear to be the grieving widow. Derek interviewed some friends of the family, people at church. They wouldn’t have won couple of the year, but staying quiet about your husband being killed is a whole other level.”
“You never know what’s happening behind closed doors.”
Something in her voice tugged a chord in his chest. They needed to talk about her stepfather, even if it meant shattering the peace of the morning. Before last night, he’d known there would never be anyone else for him. Not as long as he lived. But the way she’d sacrificed the freedom she required in order to satisfy him, to prove she wouldn’t leave again…he’d simply never be the same. He’d woken up feeling different. Weighed down with purpose in a good way. She had given herself to him, and he wouldn’t take that responsibility lightly. Because he belonged to her, too. If something happened to her, they would both suffer. What he’d gone through when she’d gone missing, but multiplied by a thousand. He needed to prevent that outcome at all costs.
“If you think any harder, smoke is going to come out of your ears,” she commented without looking at him. “How about I save you the trouble and just tell you what happened?”
Relief and hope warred in his mind, but he was still wary. It wasn’t like Erin to volunteer information without being asked. “I’d like that.”
As if she’d heard the doubt in his voice, she turned and scrutinized his face. Her shoulders slumped a little at what she saw there. “I didn’t kill him.”
“I knew that, sweetheart. You didn’t have to tell me.”
She sniffed. “It’s the why that matters, Connor. I didn’t kill him because of this.” She waved her hand between the two of them. “I can’t be who I used to be anymore. Neither can you.”
He knew mostly what she was trying to say, but needed to hear her clarify. “Explain that.”
“I never gave a shit before. I give a shit now.” She crossed her legs, making her boots jingle. “I wanted to do the right thing, but I didn’t even know what it was. You know how pathetic that felt? Standing there with a skillet in my hand, not understanding why I shouldn’t kill a man?”
Fury infiltrated his veins at the thought of her needing a weapon for a goddamn minute. At the thought of her scared. Needing to defend herself. He beat back the emotions, knowing he needed to listen. She needed him to listen.
“I need you to help me, Connor. Help me find the right way.” Her blue eyes implored him. “We’re better than him. What he did to me…we beat it last night. It’s gone for us. I know the second I’m not looking, you’ll go over there and make him pay. But I think I’m making him pay just by being happy, you know? You make me that way.”
His throat constricted. “What you make me feel goes so far beyond happy, Erin.”
Pleasure softened her eyes. “Good. So it’s settled.”
“No.” He shook his head regretfully. “I’m not ready to agree to that yet.”
Her expression fell. “Stubborn motherfucker.”
“Yeah.” They sat quietly for a while. Across the street, the furniture movers unloaded a chaise longue that probably cost a year’s salary for most people. He knew they should talk more, but he needed to change the subject. If she kept flashing those blue eyes at him and saying shit that made his heart swell, he’d find himself agreeing to a promise he couldn’t keep.
As much as he wanted to be strong for Erin, he didn’t have it in him to let the man walk around free knowing his sole focus was on locking Erin up and taking her money. Over