grabbing my wrist and showing me how to whisk, his fingers firm but not overbearing, his touch scalding.
It's a relief when we finally get the cake in the oven, and I can put some space between us.
Ranger leans against the counter near the giant, industrial fridge and watches me with narrowed eyes. He looks ... I don't want to say cute in his apron, but really, cute is the first word that comes to mind.
“So what's so great about California?” he asks, making it sound like a dirty word. “I thought it was hot and expensive and prone to natural disasters?”
I give him a look, but he doesn't seem at all apologetic about it.
“It's more about my friends,” I start, and then pause before I can add and my boyfriend. “My girlfriend, Monica.” I stop again because for some reason, it feels hard to lie with Ranger staring at me like that, as if he can see straight into my soul and isn't a fan of what he's found there. “Plus, you know, it's not cold enough to freeze my”—don't say tits, don't say tits—“balls off.”
“Well, if you like forest fires and tsunamis, then cool.” He gives what looks like the briefest of smiles, making me think that's supposed to be a joke or something. I smile back, but by the time I do, whatever remnant was on his face is gone. “I'm going to start on an assignment that's due tomorrow. You've got time until the cake’s finished baking, and then it has to cool before we can frost it. Basically, you have some time to yourself for a while.”
He moves away from the counter and takes up the chair in the corner. I sit in the one opposite him and then we just wait together in companionable silence, filling out different assignments on our laptops.
It's … actually kind of nice.
Like, maybe in a different place, a different universe, Ranger and I could be friends.
Maybe.
Too bad it's not that time or that place.
I've never been so excited as I am that first day of winter break, gathering my things up, and sprinting up the hill toward my dad's place. On the way, I run into Spencer, sitting on one of the log benches that line the path, tapping his fingers on the edge of the armrest and watching me with those miraculous eyes of his.
“Off to see your girlfriend, huh?” he asks, sounding pretty damn salty about the whole thing. I pause next to him, still irritated about the whole cake baking fiasco, and cross my arms over my chest.
“Yeah, so?”
Spencer shoves up to his feet, his blazer all rumpled, tie loose and crooked, and gets right up close and personal with me, running his knuckles down the side of my face.
“Don't pretend you don't fucking feel it, too, this tension between us.” My heart is pounding, and I'm suddenly all sweaty and tongue-tied. I feel it; of course I do. But that doesn't matter. I'm going home to Cody today. I may never come back here again, never see Spencer Hargrove again.
“What about it?” I ask, and he growls at me, slamming his palm into the tree trunk on my left. My eyes narrow as I look up into his.
“What about it?” he repeats, clearly pissed off. “What about it?! I'm questioning everything I know about myself, about my sexuality. You're the only guy I've ever been attracted to.” Part of me feels almost sorry for Spencer, but I can't help it if … he likes me. Oh god, he likes me?! How, why?! Why is he such a freaking bully then? “And you told me you were gay, and then suddenly I find out you have a girlfriend?”
“I'm bisexual,” I blurt, feeling guilty for taking on an identity that doesn't belong to me. At that moment, however, I feel like it's my only way out of this.
Not that it matters … right? Since I’m leaving?
I bite my lower lip, and exhale sharply when Spencer steps away from me, raking his fingers through his silver-ash hair. He's got dark roots, but I think they're intentional, and I love the layered, charcoal look of it.
“Jesus, Chuck,” Spencer snarls, sighing and rubbing his palms down his face. He shakes his head, curses, and stands up straight, letting his head fall back, so he can look up at the blue, blue sky above. It's freezing ass cold out here, but there's not a cloud in the sky. “Just go. Have fun