That, and I don't feel comfortable with Charlotte in that dorm room by herself.” We exchange another look, but I really don't want to move back here. I want my own space.
“Put her in with Spencer,” Church says, looking right at my dad with his best business-like expression. “His roommate just transferred overseas.”
“You want my daughter to share a room with a boy?” Dad asks dryly. “And the only one who's not present here currently?”
“He doesn't know,” Church supplies with a shrug. “And it would help keep up the farce. Think about it.” He sets his now empty coffee cup down on the counter, and the room falls silent.
“I don't know about that,” Archie says, looking beyond exhausted. I actually feel sorry for him. He's only trying to do what he thinks is best for me. “But I suppose we'll play it by ear for a while since Charlotte's been following my rules and keeping an escort. If anything else happens, however, that's the final straw. I mean it: one more note, one more close encounter. I'm not playing games with my daughter's safety.”
My heart thunders excitedly, but I try not to get my hopes up. I could be living on Aunt Elisa’s couch by the end of the week.
“If you'll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do.” Dad nods and leaves the room, closing his study door behind him.
“What are you guys doing here?” I whisper, as the twins flash matching grins.
“Keeping you at Adamson, that's what,” they say, and then they escort me back to the dorm … but not before dropping a pair gifts in my hands, and making sure I'm safely inside my room.
One of the gifts … is a hunting knife with a serrated edge. Just looking at it, and imagining hurting someone with it makes me feel sick, so I move quickly onto the other.
When I open it … I find a dick and balls.
Like, I'm not even joking.
It's a big, soft floppy dick with balls attached, like a dildo, but like … flaccid.
I hit dial on Micah's number because this just screams McCarthy twin BS.
“Why did you send me a flaccid dick?” I ask, trying to decide if I should laugh or like, flush it down the toilet.
His chuckle reverberates through the line.
“Um, it's called a packer. It's meant to be put in your pants, so you can pass the grab test.” I seriously facepalm in that moment. Hard. But since I'm holding the, um, packer in my hand, I actually facepalm straight into a flaccid dick and balls.
If only Archie knew the shenanigans these boys were putting me up to.
“Fine, I'll bite. What's the grab test?” I ask, trying not to laugh. Micah's still chuckling, like he just can't help himself.
“In a gay bar, it's not all that uncommon for a dude to grab another dude's junk. You know, to like get a sample on what he's packing.”
“This is the dumbest shit I've ever heard,” I say, dangling the fake pecker in front of my face. It flops around like one of those little bobble heads you put on the dash in your car. “How do you even know that? Do you spend a lot of time in gay bars?”
“Ross does,” he says, and even though I can't see him, I swear I can feel him grinning from two floors down. “A lot of transgender dudes use them, too. They're totally legit. We just thought you might like it. You know, to keep the secret and all.”
“Uh-huh, sure,” I say with a roll of my eyes. Although … I may or may not be slightly curious about the damn thing. I like being a girl, but … what if I just tried it for a second? Just to see what it's like? “I feel like this is just another spider jar incident.”
“If you don't want it, give it to Ross. He likes to wear them to enhance his tiny dick. Have fun, Charlotte, and if you do wear it, we won't tell.” Micah hangs up on me, and then immediately texts me some inappropriate gifs that I ignore.
I set my phone aside and bite my lower lip.
“Okay, fuck it, I'm alone.” I stand up and shimmy out of my slacks, tossing them aside, taking a deep breath, and then putting the stupid floppy thing in my panties. “Huh.” I turn to the side and admire my new bulge. It's pretty realistic looking. Well, not that I have a ton