you up over anything going on between you and either of your brothers.” His frown deepened and he turned his body towards mine, studying my face. “I don’t like what you were suggesting about me. Adam is my best friend, but I’m not so shallow to get involved in, first of all, a dispute between brothers that doesn’t involve me, and secondly, to abandon a relationship because my friend told me to. That’s not the basis for a good friendship. I wouldn’t let Adam dictate who I see.”
“Oh…”
“Do finish your sentence, what should I be doing with Adam?”
I was having a real hard time telling if he was ticked off or teasing me. “I would like to not.”
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. “You have to learn to trust me.”
“Trust is a hard concept and you should give me time.”
He nodded, taking time to choose his words again, or so I hoped. “I understand you were screwed over by a shitty guy and you have baggage, but you don’t get to take it all out on me because you carry it. It’s heavy, and I want to be here for you but you don’t get to assume I will treat you like he did. It’s not fair to me or frankly to us.”
I nodded, somberly. He was right but that didn’t mean I liked to admit I was taking out my stupid issues over my ex on him.
“I deserve more than a quick exit by shovel.”
“You are never going to let that die are you?”
“Not on your life.”
I held up my hands. “I’m sorry.”
“Good start.”
“Start?” I gasped. “What are you expecting?”
“What are you sorry for?”
“I think you’re expecting me to say for overreacting and insulting you, but I could have lost the thread of things. I was pretty upset and might have said other hurtful things.”
“You don’t remember?” he asked, giving me a look.
“I think I remember but there have been times I’ve said things in the heat of an argument and don’t remember. So I am covering all my bases.”
“Do you even know what covering all your bases means?”
“I assume it’s a hockey reference and the bases mean players.”
Jensen sighed and rubbed his temples. “Sure, honey.”
“Do you forgive me?” I asked.
“I do, but you better start paying attention to what you say in your fits of rage because I will expect you to apologize if they continue. There is no room for hurtful behavior without making amends and beyond that working on the problematic behavior in the first place.”
I nodded, knowing. “It’s the same as bringing baggage into a relationship.” I let my head hang for the first time since we’d got together, feeling like I didn’t deserve Jensen. He was insightful and smarter about relationships than I was. I had one serious one and I’d trusted the wrong person and stayed way past what was healthy. I didn’t even know why. I’d been so convinced Travis was the person for me, I couldn’t see all the harm he was reaping into my life.
“You’re not the only one with baggage. Everyone has baggage. To say I don’t also have baggage would be irresponsible. We all have things we bring in from our childhood and past relationships. You have to find someone you’re willing to work through your issues with.” He shrugged and held out his hand for me.
I took it and he tugged me into his lap. I set my beer aside and let him maneuver me where he wanted. “Does my baggage go well with yours?”
“You go well with me. The rest we can work out.”
I worked for two more days. Jensen had things to do. My parents were mostly fine, and I slept at home to spend some time with them because they liked to act like they didn’t live twenty minutes away. As I texted Avery off and on, it made me wonder if my parents held on top of things the way they did with Adam and me because of what Avery had done, or if they’d be like this either way.
Avery: Do you want to bring dinner here?
I dropped my phone and it went clattering across the floor. Both my parents looked up from their projects. My dad knitting while my mother worked on a puzzle.
“Sorry.”
They kept staring.
“I got a text message.”
I leaned over to pick up my phone, hoping they’d stop paying attention.
“Well, who’s texting you shocking things?” my mother asked.
“Jensen.”
My mother and father looked at each other.
“Not that!” Clearly,