My head snapped up. “I can’t be in confined places for too long.”
“Why do you think I took you on a walk today?”
I nodded. I’d recognized it for what it was then. “I know.”
“I could tell with your supply checking and I remember when we got trapped in the elevator in high school.”
“You do?” It had been the longest twenty minutes of my life. I was sure Jensen and Adam would make fun of me for months after the freak out I’d had in there, but they’d never mentioned it again.
“You were not doing well. You fainted in my arms. Of course, I remember.”
I searched his face for anything poking fun, but he was steady, as steady as he’d always been. So I nodded, slowly. “It was quite traumatizing. I kept waiting for you and Adam to make fun of me.”
His brows pulled and he shook his head. “Never. You couldn’t help it.”
“Thanks.” I pulled at the string some more, sure it was better than how I knew Jensen would be looking at me.
“That string going to hold your attention all night?”
My cheeks started to flush. “Maybe.”
“I’d rather you look at me when I’m speaking to you.”
My eyes lifted, automatically. Months and months of being a good boy for him had my body trained to move automaticity. There wasn’t pity or sympathy in his eyes like I’d expected. There was something deeper. How I’d imagined he’d looked at me when I wore my mask. Proud maybe. Adoration even. Something deep in my chest stirred.
“I want to keep seeing you, Aiden Adler. The rest will work itself out. You have to trust me.”
“Are you just disregarding Adam’s feelings? You know how protective he is over you and Cody.”
“Why are you so terrified of his reaction? He loves you more than he loves me. If anything happens, I can only imagine I’d be the one who was on the outs and not you.”
I shook my head, lowering my gaze again. “I don’t think that’s true. I think he will be angry. I'm putting him in a position to choose if things go south.” I couldn’t quite explain what made me nervous about all of it, but I knew in my chest that he wouldn’t like me messing with his little group.
“I think he’ll be better than you think, but it doesn’t matter. I’m willing to take the risk.” His words were soft, almost hard to hear, but they resonated around me. He was willing to lose a long lasting friendship for me.
“Why though? Why would you risk pissing off Adam for me?” I didn’t understand.
“Before I moved here, I learned how fleeting good things are. It changed my whole perspective on life from a young age.”
“Where did you live before you got placed with your mom?” I’d never asked him about it. I was sure Adam knew the story, but they’d never shared the details of his life before here with me.
“I got bounced around between a lot of foster homes. A lot of not-so-great places. I ran away twice. I was near suicide when I got picked up off the streets and put back into the system the last time. I wouldn’t have survived if it wasn’t for my mom.”
“That bad?” I asked, not sure how to word any of it.
“Bad, Aiden. I’ll let you ask me about it sometime. Right now I’d like to finish our conversation.”
“Okay.”
“So I love your brother and owe him a lot. He took me under his wing my first day here. Taught me soccer, tutored me, and took me home with him every time my mom was working late.”
I chuckled and he raised a questioning brow. “My brother tutoring you?” I asked.
“He was better in school than I was.”
“I would have helped you both.”
Jensen laughed. “I don’t think either one of us would have had the humility to take help from someone four years younger than we were.”
I lifted a shoulder and took another sip of my cocoa. “So why risk it all? If he did so much for you…”
“Because you’re worth it. Life is fleeting and I don’t want to deny my happiness because someone else will have an issue with it.” He set his cup aside. “But for the record, I don’t think he will.”
“I don’t know.”
“I know you don’t.” He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees.
“I haven’t been out of a relationship that long. I don’t know if it’s even a good idea to date.” Or if I could trust