as much as we are, it just sort of happened, and I couldn’t do anything about it.”
I don’t know why I’m asking this, but I do. “Have you guys?”
“No,” she’s quick to say. “Never.”
Sighing in relief, I nod. “I should go talk to him. Is he in his office?”
“Yeah.” She stands up and looks down at me, reaching out her hand. I take it and stand next to her. “You’re my big little girl, J. I love you as one of my kids. Don’t be too hard on Avie. He fought hard for you. Harder than anyone else when they were going to take you away from him.”
I know that. The courts didn’t think a thirteen-year-old girl in the custody of an eighteen-year-old smart-mouthed teenager was a good idea. In reality, it probably wasn’t, but I’m grateful for everything he did and continues to do for me. Aside from his constant secret-keeping, which I intend on ending now.
Walking out of the supply room, my shoes squeak against the concrete. The distant sound of the generators growling to life fills the silence. As I reach for his office door, my hand shakes. I’m not going in here to accuse him of anything, but I need to get my point across.
Inside, I find him at his desk. At first, I don’t say anything, but the need to know outweighs my nerves. “Did you know?”
As if he didn’t hear my question, he asks his own, never looking up from his phone. “Where the fuck were you last night?”
I glare at him, wishing I could punch him in the face and get away with it. “With Fletcher and Atlas. Lincoln’s boat sunk.”
He swallows, his eyes slowly finding mine. “And?”
“We don’t know yet. Coast guard found them.”
His face pales, our reality bringing back memories we didn’t want to surface again. Standing, he pulls me into a hug.
“Did you know?”
He draws back, searching my eyes. “Know what?”
I blink back tears. “That Fletcher’s son Rhett was the captain of the boat Mom and Dad were on?”
“That son of a bitch,” Avie curses under his breath. He groans, shaking his head. “Let me guess, Lincoln told you and tried to spin it like I was the one keeping the secret.”
I laugh. No, really, I do. I burst out laughing. “Oh, no. He has his own whopper of a secret, but you, you should have told me. You’re my fucking brother, Avie!” I slam my palms into his chest and shove him back against the wall. “You should have said something to me!”
He grabs me by my upper arms, digging his fingers into my muscles. “Because it didn’t matter.” His face is full of desperation I haven’t seen from him before. “I’ve spent the last ten years trying to keep this all together. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, but did it really matter? We lost our parents; he lost a son. You can’t blame him for that.”
I can hardly stand up straight, sobs working through me and shaking my frame. “I have her heart, Avie.”
He blinks, shock hitting his eyes. “What?”
“Lincoln’s wife,” I cry, my heart hurting like never before, and I sag against his chest. “I have her heart. That’s why he found me.”
“You’re serious?” he asks, his voice suddenly full of concern. “Journey, are you serious?”
I nod. “I am. I asked my transplant coordinator, and they said it was a twenty-three-year-old woman from Oregon. His wife died the same day I got the heart.”
My words, though, I’m not sure how any of that made sense to him because I said it through crying, and it probably sounded like a scream rather than words. It takes Avie a minute, but he sighs. “And he didn’t say anything?”
I snap my eyes to his. “Really? You’re the last person that should be concerned about that.”
The corners of his mouth quirk up, and he leans back against his desk. “I deserve that one.”
We sit in silence, me crying, him handing me tissues, and then eventually, he’s pulled away to get more gas for the generator. When he returns, twenty minutes later, he shuts the door behind him and hands me a towel. “We’re gonna open today. The entire town is out of power. We can at least give people some hot meals and beer to wait out the next round of winds.”
I nod and stare up at him. I love my brother. More than anything in the world, but looking at him now, I don’t like him. “Why did you