swallowed. His sigh was carried off by the breeze. Finally, he opened his eyes and captured her gaze. “Forever.”
The tears stung her eyes, and her chest felt as though it was caving in on itself. Her heart sped up and slowed and seemed to have lost its ability to beat with any sort of rhythm. “Why did you never tell me? Why did you never let on how you felt?”
“Because I’m a second son, and years before I knew about the conditions related to your inheritance, I overheard you tell Althea that you would only marry a man with a title. I would never have one. And now, Kathryn . . .” Once more his gaze slid past her. “God, the things I’ve done. As you know the blood on my hands wasn’t always mine.”
She was no longer shocked by the truth of what he’d done, but it seemed he still struggled to come to terms with it. “But it was there in defense of others. Whether you were working the docks to provide for Althea or battling dangerous men in order to protect Marcus . . . or to protect me. Kingsland wouldn’t go down on one solitary knee for me. You went down on both. With no hesitation, even knowing if you misjudged my ability to decipher your message, you would likely be killed. You sacrifice for others, asking nothing in return.”
“I deserve nothing in return. Want nothing in return. I don’t do it for personal gain.”
She’d come to realize even the letter he’d written to Kingsland hadn’t been because of his damned wager. He’d been seeking to give her what she longed for. But just as he had changed over the passing months, so had she. What she yearned to possess, what she considered important. What mattered.
She placed her palm against his jaw. “I love you, Griffith Stanwick. I turned the duke away because I would rather have a lifetime with you than a cottage by the sea.”
With a groan that sounded as though he was in pain, he placed his hand over hers, turned his head, and pressed a kiss to the center of her palm. “Ah, Kathryn, you deserve so much better than a man who has done the things I have done.”
“You’re wrong there. I want to spend my life proving it to you, showing you that you aren’t an afterthought, a spare, or being held in reserve. That nothing you’ve ever done makes you unworthy of anything. To me, you’ll always come first, my first love, my only love. And I promise I won’t be quiet while proving it, nor require that you be quiet, either. Will you honor me by becoming my husband?”
She brought him to his knees. Even though he was sitting, he still felt as though he’d dropped to them. Somehow, it seemed appropriate that this woman who thought rules should apply equally to both genders would be the one issuing the proposal.
He scooted up, scooted nearer, and cradled her beautiful face between his scarred hands, hands that no longer seemed to define him. Within her eyes, the ugliness of his past didn’t matter—and that was all that concerned him. How she viewed him. “Do you fully understand what you’ll be giving up?”
“I fully understand what I’ll be gaining—all that I’ve ever dreamed of acquiring.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “Ah, Kathryn, you humble me. The honor will be all mine, sweetheart. Yes, I’ll be your husband and love every minute of it. Just as I love you, with everything within me.”
He claimed her mouth as he’d longed to do from the beginning, as though it belonged to him and him alone. She was sustenance, air, life. She was all that was good in the world. She was all that mattered in his. Brave, beautiful, and bold.
She had never written to the duke, had never wanted Kingsland, and Griff had done her a disservice by striving to determine her destiny. He would spend the remainder of his life making that up to her. She would be his partner in all things. His helpmate. The one he turned to when decisions were needed, the one whose opinion he sought above all others. The woman who had turned down a duke for a second son. Turned away a gentleman in favor of a scoundrel.
She was on the verge of discovering how much of a scoundrel he could truly be.
Without taking his mouth from hers, gently he eased her down to the blanket