moment to look out over the sea.
Griff was in charge of his business, still in the early stages of it, trying to make a go of it, and yet he’d found time to show her around his establishment. He hadn’t seemed in a hurry to be rid of her, although that had certainly changed after her nightmare, after he’d taken actions to make her forget it. Anytime thoughts from that horrendous experience on the riverbank threatened, she’d bring forth the memories of the manner in which he’d touched her, tasted her, tormented and appeased her—and they drove the ugliness away. Always. Even when not near, he had the power to bring her solace.
It should be the duke who did so. Perhaps once they were married, once they’d had intimate encounters and she knew the feel of his hands—only she didn’t want to forget the abrasiveness of Griff’s scarred ones. What madness was this, to be so besotted with a man who was incredibly wrong for her?
“He looks for you, you know.”
Snapping out of the musings into which she’d drifted, she furrowed her brow and stared at Wilhelmina. “Why in the world would your gentleman look for me?”
Her light laughter like the ringing of crystal bells trickled forth. “Not my gentleman. Yours. Mr. Stanwick.”
She glowered at her friend. “He is not my gentleman.”
“Is he not?”
“No. As I mentioned before, he’s merely the brother of a friend.”
“Interesting.”
“What is?”
“I would have expected you to adamantly claim Kingsland was your gentleman.”
“Well, of course he is. That goes without saying.”
Her friend leaned toward her. “Is he?”
“Wilhelmina, don’t be obtuse. You know he is.”
“Do you know why I’m a spinster?”
“Because no gent has asked for your hand.”
“Because the right gent has never asked for my hand.”
“Kingsland is the right gent.” She wished her words didn’t lack conviction. “I am not with Kingsland in order to avoid being a spinster. I am with him because it benefits us both, which is how marriages among the ton are decided.” Love was not required of the nobility when they married. In truth, it was rare for it to be a factor at all.
Wilhelmina lifted her cup and slowly sipped her tea. “I certainly find no fault with Kingsland.”
“He is perfection.” Pity she was finding perfection a trifle boring.
“No man is perfection, darling. If you believe that of him, then you don’t know him well enough.”
She did know one man well enough to know he was far from perfection, and yet it was the little flaws that most intrigued her, that made her care about him so much. That elicited every emotion possible within her. That made her feel. That scared her with the strength of those feelings, whether she was angry with him or happy or sad or worried. With Griff, everything was more intense, more immediate. Everything demanded exploration. Everything about him called to her to be an adventuress.
“Kathryn, the choices you make are absolutely none of my business. People marry for myriad reasons. Wants, needs, gains. I find fault with none of them because I do not walk in another lady’s slippers. I walk only in my own. But the one thing I do know is that sometimes in life, we have a chance for something more—perhaps for only a night or an hour or a minute. But if we don’t take it, it can fill us with an eternity of regrets.”
“Have you had a night with your gentleman?” She knew it was rude to ask, but her friend didn’t seem at all offended.
“Not yet, but I will.”
“If, afterward, he is done with you . . . how will you deal with that?”
“I shall mourn for a while, I suppose, but then I shall go in search of another. One night with a man who makes me feel like a queen is better than no night at all.”
“If in taking that night you are unfair to another?”
“Do you honestly believe that since he began courting you, Kingsland has not bedded anyone?”
Kathryn felt the heat suffuse her face because Wilhelmina would be so blunt, wouldn’t even pretend to not know who was being discussed. “Women are supposed to remain pure for their husbands.”
“Who decided that? Some man? You are not yet wed to him, Kathryn. You are not even officially betrothed. If you need that one night with another, take it before you are engaged, and it becomes lost to you forever.”
Chapter 18
Griff liked Althea’s new family. He supposed when one began life under challenging circumstances—and none would