of the corner of her eye and glanced to the side. Passion ignited, desire thrummed through her veins. Tall and lean, all muscle and sinew, Griff strode toward her. His feet were bare, his trouser legs turned up to expose his calves. Rolled up to nearly his elbows, his shirtsleeves billowed in the breeze. She wondered where his neckcloth, waistcoat, and coat were. Then decided it didn’t matter. Those sorts of accessories had no place here.
Nevertheless, without the trappings of them, he still managed to exude all the bearing of a lord. Even though the Crown had stripped him of his place in Society, he had climbed through the muck to reclaim it with his comportment, if nothing else. She could barely breathe for the perfection of him.
When he reached her, he lowered himself to the blanket in such a way that he faced her, his legs stretched out in the opposite direction from hers. His thigh touched hers, and while cloth separated them, flimsy cloth on her part, the familiarity of it seemed almost as intimate as her lying beneath him.
“Last year, you didn’t send Kingsland a letter, didn’t interview for him.”
Not what she’d expected. An apology, perhaps. An I’ve realized I can’t live without you would have been preferable. “Hello to you as well. This is a surprise. How did you know where to find me?”
“I went to your residence and spoke with your parents. After a lengthy discussion, they reluctantly divulged your whereabouts.” He studied her for three heartbeats, four. “Why?”
Apparently, he had no intention of letting his original inquiry go without some answers, even if he’d only made a statement and not presented a direct question. He expected her to address it. She shook her head. How to explain? She bit her lower lip, tried to think of the right words. “Because I can’t be quiet. Because I couldn’t imagine that a man who wanted a quiet wife would be happy with one who likes to dance on the beach. And I don’t just dance on the beach, Griff. I dance when I wake up in the morning, after I crawl out of bed. Sometimes late at night, I dance through empty rooms. But mostly because as I said . . . I can’t be quiet. I want to talk to my husband. I want to tell him my troubles. I want to hear his. I want to share my opinions on matters large and small. I want to offer suggestions and have him think that even the ones that aren’t good still have value.”
“But after he called out your name, you didn’t turn him away from courting you.”
She shrugged. “You’d gone to such trouble and inconvenience that it seemed the least I could do was give Kingsland the opportunity to impress me.” Besides, Griff had disappeared, and she had wanted what marriage to the duke would gain her. A year ago, at least. The cottage had dominated her thoughts. For far too long it had dominated her life. Now she wanted something else entirely, and it was important he understand that. “He did finally ask for my hand. I told him no.”
“I know. He came to see me.” Well, that was a surprising development, and no doubt how he’d learned of her not sending a letter. “In turning him away, you will lose the cottage if you don’t find a titled gent to marry rather quickly.”
“I’m not even going to the bother to look. I’ve decided I don’t want a titled gent. Which is the reason I’m here. To gather all the memories of this place while I may.”
“And then?”
“You said that leaving me had never been easy. When did it become difficult?”
He glanced off to the side, toward the curved end of the small alcove that allowed for privacy. It was one of the reasons she’d always felt safe here. She could dance with no one watching, could be carefree and lighthearted, and not worry if she behaved like a hoyden rather than a lady. His gaze came back to her. “The night I kissed you in Kingsland’s garden. Long before that, probably.”
She felt as though she’d unlocked a wooden chest and unearthed a secret treasure. Leaving her had never been easy. Nothing about her had ever been easy. Just as nothing about him had ever been easy. But she’d only recently realized why. “How long have you loved me?”
He closed his eyes, and she watched the muscles at his throat work as he